Yo, Check The Perm: An Ill-iterary Masterpiece

Illustration for article titled iYo, Check The Perm/i: An Ill-iterary Masterpiece

Isn't it comforting to know, in times like these, times our banks are getting emergency bailouts from Abu Dhabi and the foreclosure crisis is keeping even the mayor of Trenton awake nights — seriously, people are foreclosing on houses in Trenton? — that someone out there is making money publishing thoroughly useless $6.95 gag gift books? I thought so. Welcome to Yo, Check The Perm. I actually bought this book, though I have no idea why. I remember I was at Urban Outfitters, where I usually manage to avoid buying things by avoiding trying on things, which isn't hard, but Dodai was enabling me to buy a belt and then this damn thing caught my eye. The premise is that people look awesomer, if not necessarily better, with perms, the "misunderstood" hair treatment pioneered around the last time the economy looked like this. Are they right? Ladies and gents of the jury, your evidence:

Illustration for article titled iYo, Check The Perm/i: An Ill-iterary Masterpiece
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For some reason I think this guy looks better. Yeah, he had a kind of cute Michael Ian Black thing going on before, but that was kind of distracting because Michael Ian Black is a lot more attractive. No one agrees with me on this one though. Maybe I just think smoking looks cool.

Illustration for article titled iYo, Check The Perm/i: An Ill-iterary Masterpiece
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Yeah, MISTAKE.

Illustration for article titled iYo, Check The Perm/i: An Ill-iterary Masterpiece


I think I used to rock this look in grade school. I would tie my hair into these elaborate pin things and then shake it out in the morning and, Voila, Gloria Estefan. It was a lot of work, but man, what a payoff. But I can't get a perm, right? I can barely get my hair cut.

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I also have thick not-too-frizzy ringlet hair. I shampoo it every three days. Day 1 is freshly-fucked curls (washed and air-dried) Day 2 is big and wavy (flat-ironed on top, wavy toward the nape) Day 3 is stick-straight (totally flat ironed). Works for me!