Nicole & Joel's Faux Nuptials

Illustration for article titled Nicole & Joel's Faux Nuptials
  • Nicole Richie and Joel Madden did not get married this weekend, despite reports by Star magazine that they were having a $2 million wedding. But! Joel did post fake wedding pictures on his band's blog with a message that read: "I've been getting calls and texts from my family all week asking me why they weren't invited to my wedding. I guess the only answer I could give them was that I didn't know we were having one." In the pix, he and Nicole are gorillas. [E!]
  • Amy Winehouse agreed to sing at the party of a Russian billionaire, but when she showed up in Moscow, she was "in no condition" to appear on stage. Organizers spent two hours trying to pull her together, and a source says "she put on a terrific show." [Rush & Molloy]
  • You may have heard that Scarlett Johansson and Barack Obama have an e-mail relationship: But did you know that Scarlett's brother Hunter works for the senator? [Page Six]
  • M.I.A., whom this paper calls a "lady rapper," is engaged! Check out her bling. [Rush & Molloy]
  • Tim Russert's heart was enlarged. [People]
  • Ashanti says that she and Nelly are "good friends," who might get engaged in the future. [People]
  • Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong: Hanging out in Canada, where Lance was in a fund-raising bike ride. [People]
  • NCIS actress Pauley Perrette is asking the public to help find her missing friend. "Her purse was found at one end of Runyon Canyon with all the contents in it; her jewelry was found in another part of Runyon Canyon," says Perrette. [E!]
  • This picture of David Beckham talking to Didier Mbenga of the L.A. Lakers is high-larious. [ONTD]
  • Has Lily Allen given up partying??? [Mirror]
  • Princess Eugenie: Seen frolicking naked on school grounds. [Daily Mail]
  • Snoop Dogg's wife was busted for DUI over the weekend, and from the looks of her mugshot, she was wasted! [TMZ]
  • Kid Rock was hospitalized for stomach cramps and dehydration over the weekend. [TMZ]
  • At her baby shower, pregnant 24 actress Mary Lynn Rajskub jumped into the swimming pool to beat the heat. [People]
  • Mary-Louise Parker broke her toe during a love scene for Weeds. "I smashed it on the bed frame," she says. [People]
  • Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were both in Vegas over the weekend, though they apparently didn't run into each other. Kev was honored as Father Of The Year; Brit had father's day dinner with her dad. Where were the kids? [People]
  • Sean Connery was in the hospital Friday for a fractured ankle he suffered while playing golf. How does that happen? Don't you just hit the ball as far as you can and then get in a little car and chase it? [Star]
  • A Hindu leader wants Mike Meyer's new movie, The Love Guru, to have an NC-17 rating. Says Bhavna Shinde: "From the information available about the movie, it appears to be mocking and ridiculing Hinduism, Hindu philosophy, ashram life, Hindu concepts and terminology, Gurus, etc. Cinema is a powerful medium and it can create stereotypes in the minds of some audiences, especially in the minds of younger audiences, who are passing through an impressionable phase." [Punjab Newsline]
  • Is actor Michael Madsen is being a total pain in the ass on his new movie? [Rush & Molloy]
  • What are all of the kids from the School Of Rock now? Find out! [ONTD]
  • Legendary actor Richard Dreyfuss: Seem "ogling the bare-breasted talent" at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club. [Page Six]
  • Is anyone sorta curious about Kit Kittredge: An American Girl'? Starring Abigail Breslin? At the premiere, Abigail said, "I'm excited to see all the girls, and welcome the boys who come too!" Boys? Really? [ET]
  • Keira Knightley's mom says Keira is not anorexic, and that she "eats like a horse." "She has always been thin. She's her daddy's daughter, with his long body." [The Sun]
  • The Sun has apologized for a false story it printed about Rhys Ifans punching Sienna Miller's friend and co-star Matthew Rhys. [The Sun]
  • Dr. Oz from Oprah — getting his own show. [UPI]
  • Does Hugh Laurie have a Burger King Gold Card? Does he get limitless supply of free burgers? Do all celebs get one? So. Jealous. Hate to miss a Whopportnity. [ONTD]



@katekate is squared: Thank you. Who allows movies like this to be produced? This and that stupid Zohan movie are basically trying to rip off Borat's line of culturally retarded humor. It was done once and that was more than enough, thank you, come again.