Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Rahm Sightings, Ted Stevens, Secretaries Of State, And Other Political Obsessions

Illustration for article titled Rahm Sightings, Ted Stevens, Secretaries Of State, And Other Political Obsessions

With only two more Senate races left to watch, an Administration to staff and a country to help out of a financial crisis, Rahm Emanuel took some time out yesterday to speak to a bunch of CEOs, and have dinner in the vicinity of The Daily Beast's Ana Marie Cox. What he said, who he was with and all the important details are after the jump, along with a discussion of Ted Stevens' Senatorial loss, homosexuality in the Middle East, Air Fuck One, vetting, the fighting pussies, Chris Matthews' Senate race and al-Qaeda deputy Ayman al-Zawahri's impressions of Obama (hint: they aren't good).ANA MARIE: Good morning! MEGAN: It does appear to be morning, but I am not going to make any promises about its "goodness" until I, like you, have gotten some caffeine in my system. Also, please type less loudly. Oh, wait, that's me. ANA MARIE: Fun Jezebel meet up, huh? MEGAN: Yes, but I was driving so drinking was minimized and then I got home and was like, hey, glass before bed! And it was a big glass. A really, really big glass. ANA MARIE: That'll do it. Whereas the highlight of my evening was A RAHM SIGHTING. MEGAN: In tights? ANA MARIE: Sadly no. But he was with one of his equally brilliant brother, ZEKE, who arrived in the restaurant still wearing his lanyard nametag. Very dorky-cute. They had just been at this. MEGAN: Oh, man, a conventioneer? ANA MARIE: A very important powerful conventioneer:

"When it gets rough out there, a lot of business leaders get out of the car and say, 'We're OK with minor reform.' I'm challenging you today, we're going to have to do big, serious things," Rahm Emanuel said, speaking to The Wall Street Journal's CEO Council, a conference convened to elicit corporate opinion on the challenges facing the new president.


MEGAN: Also, I love how a CEO's top concern is card check. Fucking U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Like, hello, new Great Depression but you care whether Obama will veto card check? Hint, hint, dickwad, he won't. ANA MARIE: (WSJ reports on Rahm's presence, this is how I know Zeke was there. ) This threw me a bit:

"The American people in two successive elections have voted for change, and change cannot be allowed to die on the doorsteps of Washington," Mr. Emanuel said.


Until i remembered that he counts 2006 as an election. MEGAN: Ooh, Zeke works at NIH? And 2006 was Rahm's big victory, of course he thinks about it that way! But can we talk about the softer side of Rahm? :

According to notes taken by leadership aides, Mr. Emanuel choked up when he told the colleagues his decision to leave the Hill and join the Obama administration was "not an easy decision for me."

ANA MARIE: Eh, just because someone has a filthy mouth doesn't mean the waterworks are broken. You and I should know! MEGAN: I don't cry, I just have something in my contact lens. Even when I'm wearing my glasses. ANA MARIE: So are you stone hearted or just not much of a crier? And I think that is a great segue to Hillary! Are you tired of talking about her yet? Will doing it again actually bring you to tears? MEGAN: No, that is exactly how I deal with stuff when I "have something in my eye!" Segue! The whole situation in which she's saying she might not want it really makes me wonder what Clinton was doing jetting around in Air Fuck One. ANA MARIE: The name says it all. Given all the rumors and speculation floating around, I think I trust Ambinder's take on the situation (Hillary's, not Bill's... or rather, not THAT Bill situation). MEGAN: Okay, best line in the piece:

On the other hand, it is conceivable that President Obama would hand Sen. Clinton a ticket with the words "Middle East Peace" printed on it, and say: "Go," giving Clinton the flexibility and transitive authority to secure her place in history.


That would be nice. ANA MARIE: On the other hand, there's this:

She would be Secretary of State in an administration dominated by other foreign policy heavyweights. She will wonder where Joe Biden fits in to all of this; the two senators are collegial and competitive. There is some angst with Joe Biden's circle of confidants about Clinton's serving as Secretary of State. It is not clear whether Biden himself shares the angst.


MEGAN: If Joe Biden wanted to be SecState, he should not have accepted the VP slot. ANA MARIE: I suspect Biden thought that VP would be like SecStatePLUS. MEGAN: Welcome to the Greater Depression, Joe Biden, when you get to have a domestic policy function. But if Ambinder is right and the whole thing is collegial and proceeding apace, why all the leaks that she's not gonna do it? ANA MARIE: Because you can be collegial about vetting and still not be sure you're gonna do it. And we still don't know what the vetting has turned up. MEGAN: Well, and that's what I meant about what was going on on Air Fuck One. Is it the 'stans? The investments? The foreign donors at the library? ANA MARIE: Well if everyone is being all discreet as they say, we may never know — Hillary's ambivalence could be a cover for making a graceful exit after they find out that Bill was banging a Pakastani tranny. Or accepting money from a Pakastani warlord. Which is maybe more likely. MEGAN: Yeah, because I think transvestites are more of an Afghani thing. I have listened to a lot of people talk about homosexuality in Afghanistan over the last year. I'm starting to think people want to do more than fuck OBL up (i.e., down, sideways, back and forth, etc.). ANA MARIE: Everyone needs a hobby MEGAN: Especially Ted Stevens now. ANA MARIE: I understand he makes gigantic fish sculptures in his spare time. Presumably they will become truly gargantuan now. Do you continue to live in Alaska if you don't have to? That's my question. MEGAN: Mike Gravel says: no. His wife says, aw hell no. ANA MARIE: I'm not sure if Gravel is the best source on the subject of sane behavior. MEGAN: Well, what politician from Alaska is? ANA MARIE: I hope the new guy! MEGAN: Good luck with that. Begich winning does mean that if they can pull it out in Minnesota (decent odds) and then Georgia (unlikely), the Dems will have their filibuster-proof majority if Lieberman doesn't shank them again. Which he will, 'cause he's Lieberman and now has no fear. ANA MARIE: Yeah, that is what it means! And I think Lieberman is probably more of a pussy than you think. MEGAN: I'm sure he's less of a pussy than Harry Reid, but that ain't saying much. ANA MARIE: Harry Reid, the boxing pussy. MEGAN: Some dudes do think pussy is a competitive sport. ANA MARIE: And that boxing is as well. Did you see Bill Kristol is "ambivalent" about keeping his New York Times column? MEGAN: Man, what a copycat. He sees Hillary playing the expectation-management game and then hops on board? Yeah, Bill, everyone knows you're going to be out on your ass when the contract's up, you should've been ambivalent in, like, January. ANA MARIE: Or more ambivalent about Sarah Palin! His ambivalence is widely misplaced MEGAN: A lot of things about Bill Kristol are misplaced. Like any rational thought. ANA MARIE: In an interview with the New York Observer, he says he's actually only met Palin twice. Which could explain a lot! MEGAN: Oh, right, like he couldn't have fallen in political love in two meetings? That hair, those eyes, her lips, those thighs and drill, baby, drill? He probably had stronger tingles in his leg for her than Chris Matthews did for Obama. ANA MARIE: I'm sure Chris Matthews would disagree. Oh, and speaking of Chris Matthews: BEST SENATE RACE OF 2010. Unless, you know, Keith Olbermann takes his competitive streak to New Jersey MEGAN: Oh, God, that will be so amazing. Has Specter even confirmed he's running yet? Could it be an open seat? Can I be THAT lucky? ANA MARIE: I totally made up that KO thing, btw. Like, that isn't even a rumor, people. I want to spell that out because I think that it was just such a remark that might give us Sen. Franken. MEGAN: Yeah, unless Olbermann decides to take on Corzine in the primary for the gubernatorial race, he can't run for Senate for a while yet. That said, can you imagine the smear campaign? The heart races. ANA MARIE: Every campaign ad would be a SPECIAL COMMENT, with lots of chair spinning. MEGAN: Hey, remember how al Qaeda endorsed McCain and all the conservatives were like, it's psychological warfare! They really are endorsing Obama? Well, no, it turns out, they really were into McCain. Oh, and Ayman al-Zawahri thinks Obama is a race traitor and a — I swear — "house negro." He's also pissed that Obama has "abandoned his Muslim faith." ANA MARIE: al-Zawahri reads too many right wing blogs.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Erin Gloria Ryan

I have just solved the mystery of where al Quaeda's leadership is hiding. It's not Pakistan. It's not Afghanistan. It's not Saudi Arabia. It's the home of batshit "Obama Is A Muslim Despite Mounds Of Evidence To The Contrary"— the American Deep South and Texas. If you don't hear from me for awhile, it's because I'm in Alabama, looking for Osama Bin Ladin.