Put Your Eyebrows On A Diet

Illustration for article titled Put Your Eyebrows On A Diet

Cosmo's Andrea Levinthal says if you can't hit gym, just let your eyebrows grow. "Who knew??" says Levinthal. "I always thought the thinner, the brow, the thinner I looked." Congratulations, Andrea, that means you were thinking about this. We're going to take your advice a step further and spray our faces with Rogaine, to conceal that hideous facial chub beneath a luxuriant beard. [Cosmo]

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hortense-smith-old
Hortense Smith

I've decided to let my eyebrows grow long enough for me to knit them into a very chic face cozy, as I am too broke to buy a proper hat/scarf combo. I shall call it the UniWow, and it will be available in 3 payments of $49.95.