A woman wrote into Obit's "Ask Judy" with a real problem: an airline ruined her first-class flight with a dead body, and refuses to give her a refund! Given the subject, we thought we'd better ask some dead people!
I just went on a honeymoon with my husband (of course!), and we booked first class to South Africa and back. On the flight to South Africa, someone died in economy class, and believe it or not, they moved the body from where it was over to first class, where it lay wrapped in a blanket directly across the aisle from me.
I protested, because who wants to look at a corpse on her honeymoon, especially in first class, after paying a lot of money, but was told that economy was really crowded, and they didn't want a corpse there "for health reasons" (but first class was OK?? Our health was better?).
When we landed, I pitched a fit, and said we deserved to have our money refunded, considering it was hardly a first class experience. The airline had a real hard time understanding this, apparently. They said nothing in their agreement with passengers prevented them from moving a dead body from one class to another.
What do you think?
Dorothy Parker: If the stiff what brung you isn't fun/
Here's a mile-high two for one!
Casanova: Why "of course?"
Oscar Wilde: Oh, how vile. Salts, please.
Marquis de Sade: Some of us do like to look at corpses on honeymoons, by the way.
George Donner: What was this, 10 hours? Cry me a river!
Marie Antoinette: On the contrary, the rich are far, far more delicate!
Midas: You know, money isn't everything.
Jack Kerouac: Fuck planes.