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Teachers Punished For "Spirit" Lap Dance • Fox Viewers Aren't Interested In Michelle Obama

• Two high school teachers from Winnipeg have been suspended for performing a lap dance at a pep rally. School officials say the dance was "totally inappropriate" and a 12th grade student called it "dirty." Video after the jump. •


• Doctors in Denmark made history recently when a patient gave birth to two children after undergoing transplants of ovarian tissue. This is the first time a woman has had multiple separate pregnancies as a result of an ovarian transplant, and only nine children have been born worldwide following the procedure. • Dr. Kermit Gosnell, a Philadelphia doctor who performed abortions, has had his medical license suspended after investigators found blood on the floor, fetus parts in jars, and a recovery area that consisted of recliners. He has been named in nearly four dozen lawsuits going back 20 years, including at least one that alleges a patient died after a botched abortion. • According to Japanese scientists, baby monitors that translate an infant's cries might not be too far in the future. They've developed a way to "measure" emotion through sound pattern recognition, which could help parents better understand their babies screams. • Details on why 12 Haitian children who are not orphans were airlifted to the United States last month are still unclear. Obama administration officials say Pennsylvania Governor Edward G. Rendell was allowed to airlift the children out even though he hadn't received clear authorization from the Haitian government because American officials were worried about the children and didn't follow procedure. "I don't know how it happened, but I didn't ask a lot of questions, and if you had seen the faces of those children as we loaded them onto the airplane, you wouldn't have asked a lot of questions, either," said Governor Rendell. • A judge in Haiti says he'll make a decision on whether to release Laura Silsby and Charisa Coulter, two of the missionaries suspected of kidnapping Haitian children, in the next few days. • Six orphans Haitian police seized this week because they feared they were being kidnapped have arrived in the United States. Police detained four women and the children after a group of 20 men blocked the women at an airport, shouting, "You can't take our children!" Police have determined the adoptions are legal and the children will meet their new parents tomorrow. • An airline in Japan has announced the introduction of women-only toilets on board. They only plan to have one exclusive restroom, but officials say they received quite a few requests for private bathrooms for the ladies. • A report released by the UK charity group Race on the Agenda found that rape has become a "weapon of choice" for gang members in London. The report is based on interviews with 350 women and girls, many of whom suffered abuse and gang violence. They also mention that female gang members are becoming increasingly violent in an attempt to keep up with their peers. • Another finding from the same report: Middle-class girlfriends are "prized by gang members" for their ability to stash weapons and drugs under the radar. Academics who study gangs report that private school girls are being drawn into a life of crime by their "bad boy" boyfriends. • Hidden Herstories: Women of Change is youth-led documentary about feminism and race, that will premiere in London on March 6th to mark International Women's Day (March 8th). The film follows several women who have made a contribution to the local community. It was funded by the Octavia Foundation, and shot almost entirely by youths that are underrepresented in the film industry. • A watchdog group warned today that governments around the world must step up their efforts to limit access to date-rape drugs and increase awareness about the dangers of leaving food and drink unattended. "The 'date-rape drug' phenomenon, although fairly new, is evolving rapidly as sexual abusers attempt to circumvent stricter drug controls by using substances not restricted by international drug conventions," the Vienna-based U.N. body said. • Congratulations are in order: Earlier this month, two inmates from the UK tied the knot in a wedding ceremony that is believed to have been the first lesbian prison wedding. We assume the ceremony was an intimate, rather private affair. • Women are far more likely to plan vacations than men, according to a survey from Only 12% of men in relationships say they usually book hotels and organize the holiday, but 69% of women who aren't even in a relationship say they would not allow a partner to plan their vacation. • Michelle Obama on her new push to improve the fitness of American children: "If kids are naturally active, they shouldn't have to worry about what they eat. That's how it was when we were growing up. Nobody talked to you about nutrition. You ate your vegetables. You ate what was on your plate. And you went outside and played...In our nation, what happened? What have been the cultural trends that have led us away from that regular exercise and activity that kids used to get?" • While we're obviously interested in what the First Lady has to say, it appear that Fox News viewers couldn't care less. Mike Huckabee's interview with Michelle Obama brought in the lowest ratings of 2010. • An analysis of baby-name trends dating back to the late 1800s found more parents are giving their babies unusual names than ever. LiveScience theorizes, "The uptick could be a sign of a change in culture from one that applauded fitting in to today's emphasis on being unique and standing out." • BuzzFeed has posted a recording of a brave five-year-old girl calling 911 for her father, who was suffering a heart attack and unable to speak. Savannah has been credited with saving her dad's life. • The Secret Life of Emily Dickinson, a new book out this week, is a fictional exploration of Emily Dickinson's "lustful thoughts," written in the first person. The (male) author Jerome Charyn says, "My own feeling as a 21st century reader is that she was not gay, she was not a lesbian... It is very evident in her letters." • Prosecutors have charged a 19-year-old barista from Tacoma, Washington with unlawful public exposure for allegedly wearing only a thong and X-shaped pasties while working at Bikini Bottoms espresso stand. The sheriff's deputy investigating the case confiscated the woman's pasties as evidence. • Spain has eased restrictions on abortion "declaring the practice a woman's right and doing away with the threat of imprisonment." The Catholic Church has assumed their battle stations. • Can a good wife prevent a stroke? In that case, sign us all up! • Globe-trotting? New research finds a link between gender and the types of ailments suffered on a trip abroad. Women tend to contract colds, stomach issues, and the dreaded UTI. • British women are scaring health researchers with their makeup bags. Apparently, the makeup in an average woman's purse is four years old and a breeding ground for bacteria. • The family of a police officer who died in a crash in 2008 while escorting our now-Secretary of State in a motorcade is suing Hillary Clinton. They claim Hillary and her campaign did not provide timely notice for assistance. • Fred Thompson thinks abuse is hilarious, tweeting: "fredthompson Reid: Jobless men = domestic abuse. Is he saying we should be worried about Mrs. Reid after the November elections?"" Harry Reid was not amused.

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Mireille is sensational, like a She-Hulk

According to Japanese scientists, baby monitors that translate an infant's cries might not be too far in the future. They've developed a way to "measure" emotion through sound pattern recognition, which could help parents better understand their babies screams.

Sorry, Homer's brother Herb Powell invented that in 1992.

"It measures the pitch, the frequency, and the urgency of a baby's cry, and then tells whoever's around, in plain English, exactly what the baby's trying to say! Everything from 'Change me' to 'Turn off that damn Raffi record!"'