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5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring

Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring

Studded jean vest/jackets! Poopy-crotched "harem" pants! Sith Lord-inspired hooded tops! There's never a shortage of fug at Urban Outfitters, and April's catalog is no exception. Before we get to the clothes, let's discuss the decapitated young lady on the cover:

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Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring

Wednesday we received an email from reader R.M., who wrote:

Hey dolls! Check out the cover of the UO spring 2010 catalog. isn't it the worst case of photoshopping a whole 1/3 of a girl's body off ever? a couple of pages in you can see what the shot actually looked like—but she still looks like a weird headless sea creature.

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The interior shot (seen here) appears to be from a different angle than the cover shot — check out how much of the lounge chair's seat surface is visible in both images — but the fact remains, this "edgy," artsy picture looks like:

A. A woman barfing over a ledge with her ass in the air
B. A woman passed out on a ledge with her ass in the air
C. A sexual assault crime scene
D. All of the above.

But, you know, this is Urban! Half-naked chicks with their dresses pushed up to reveal their underwear is fairly typical! Let's move on.

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Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring

The Romper Is Ubiquitous. The Romper Is Happening. The Romper Is Your New Overlord. Bow down to The Romper.

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Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring

Ugly shoes are having a moment, and I'm thinking about having a T-shirt printed which reads "Shooties Are Shitty." All the footwear here looks like it's from the rubbish heap of a drunk Ancient Peloponnesian cobbler, but if you're interested in dressing like someone who's being held captive in the bottom of a sea-faring vessel and forced to row a giant oar, by all means, have at it.

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Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring
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This one especially gives off that "refugee from a fallen Ancient empire" vibe.

Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring
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She's hiding her face because the serving suggestion for this black lace bralette is embarrassing. Are young ladies really supposed to just pull on shorts and a cardigan and just face the light of day with their nipples on display?

Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring
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They might be some Steampunk's dream come true, but these "Victorian Spectator Boots" seem awkward, hot and uncomfortable.

Illustration for article titled 5 Fugly Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Spring
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If these glorious "Swing Shorts" make this slender girl's hips look as wide as Wisconsin, what will they do to the pelvic region and saddlebags of we mere mortals?

Earlier: April At J. Crew: Floral Rompers & Rugged Dudes Who Are Good With Their Hands
Free People: For March, The Ugliest Shoes & Clothes To Match
March Madness At J. Peterman: Choose Your Own (Artsy) Adventure
March Anthropologie: A Lush, Tropical Dream With Nightmarish Shoes

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Related: Urban Outfitters Explains "Obama/Black"
Urban Outfitters: A New Year's Eve Party Of One
Urban Outfitters: Everything Old Is Fug Again
Urban Outfitters: Does This Make My Ass Look Wack?

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DISCUSSION

mrsbeeton
Montauk Monster

I have yet to see a romper look good on any adult female, regardless of build.