If Kristen Stewart seems uncomfortable with the demands of fame, it's because she is.
Kristen is on the cover of the June issue of Elle, and inside she attempts to explain her red-carpet attitude: "People say that I'm miserable, all the time," KStew tells the mag. "It's not that I'm miserable it's just that somebody's yelling at me… I literally sometimes have to keep myself from crying… it's a physical reaction to the energy that's thrown at you."
E!'s Ted Casablanca notes that he's seen the madness first-hand: "Take The Yellow Handkerchief premiere, where photogs were actually screaming at Stewart (and her publicist) to 'move out of the fucking way' and just give them a solo shot. It's actually kinda out of control!"
Kristen doesn't even feel safe, most of the time:
"Somebody knocked on my hotel room door and asked for a light, then said that they were a big fan. I was like, ‘Do you really need me to light your cigarette? How do you know what room I'm in?' I can't be by myself and I like being by myself."
She is, as they say, always on the run:
"It's insane! Once somebody finds out, you have to get the hell out of wherever you are. People freak out. And the photographers, they're vicious. They're mean. They're like thugs. I don't event want to drive around by myself anymore. It's fucking dangerous."
Kristen is also honest about her discomfort in the spotlight:
"I think it's funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I'm nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward-and I am-but those are bad words for them."
It's hard not be charmed by her: Instead of the perfectly groomed, couture-wearing, pat-answer-giving Hollywood girl-about-town, she is who she is: Unvarnished, foul-mouthed, slightly agitated and completely real.
"I hate it when they say I'm ungrateful, and I fucking hate it when they say I don't give a shit, because nobody cares more than I do."
Honestly? With so many fame-seeking young ladies in the media, hungry for the spotlight and attention, it's refreshing to hear from a young actress and realize that the acting is what she's interested in. Not the ego-boost of flashbulbs and gossip.
And when Kristen says:
"I would never cheapen my relationships by talking about them. People say, ‘Just say who you're dating. Then people will stop being so ravenous about it.' It's like, No they won't! They'll ask for specifics."
…She's absolutely fucking right.