Michaele Salahi A Housewife No More

Illustration for article titled Michaele Salahi A Housewife No More
  • Michaele Salahi won't be returning to The Real Housewives Of D.C.. That is: IF the show is renewed for a second season.

Apparently producers are searching for a "bitchy" replacement. Also Bravo is "annoyed" with the Salahis for saying that the network has kept them from talking about the White House dinner. "The notion that the Salahis have been barred under their contracts… from speaking… is simply not true," Bravo says in a statement. [Page Six]

  • Michael Douglas was on the red carpet for the Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps premiere last night, but did not speak. An insider explains: "He is in a no-win situation… If Michael didn't show up, everyone would be talking about him. Yet at the same time if he did show up, the press would see for themselves that he isn't doing so great." [PopEater]
  • Lady Gaga's record label has allegedly ordered her to gain weight. "She was baffled by the request since the industry usually only wants skinny," an insider told MTV. It seems the label is concerned about her health — crazy, I know — and claim "she can't continue moving at breakneck speed without eating." [News.com.au]
  • After failing her drug test, Lindsay Lohan will go to jail. Again. But she probably won't serve a full 30-day sentence. [NYDN]
  • Lindsay Lohan is broke. Lawyers don't work for free, Dina has other kids to take care of, and sources say that "Lindsay is in serious trouble financially." But didn't she just get a Porsche? [Radar Online]
  • Lindsay went to a spa and got a facial yesterday. [WonderWall]
  • "Lindsay Lohan is a terrible driver." [Page Six]
  • Lindsay Lohan might still do the Linda Lovelace movie, but she has to be "100% sober," says a producer. Yes, her contract will have a sobriety clause. Good idea! [E!]
  • Kate Winslet's new boyfriend is really freaking hot. Like really. [Just Jared]
  • Justin Bieber is allegedly making out with the chick from his "Baby" video in the back of a Honda in the pictures at the link, but the images are so vague it could be anyone doing anything. [TMZ]
  • Behold: Snooki doing yoga. [The Superficial]
  • J-Woww was at the mall, checking out shoes at Steve Madden with her new boyfriend, but had to hide in a stockroom when fans went crazy and brought out cameras. [Gatecrasher]
  • J-Woww will pose for Playboy. But you knew that. [Celeb News Wire]
  • Is Nicole Richie in Mexico with some dude who is not her husband? [The Superficial]
  • Ethan Hawke, who divorced his wife and married the nanny, says his situation is like The Sound Of Music and not like Jude Law's. Um, wasn't the mom in The Sound Of Music dead?!?! Poor Uma Thurman. [Gatecrasher]
  • Elisabeth Moss filed for divorce from Fred Armisen yesterday, citing irreconcilable differences. They got married in October, and announced their split in May. Peegy Olson is going places! Ay dios mio. [Daily Express]
  • Get a sneak peek of the "beginning of the end for Steve Carrell on The Office." [WonderWall]
  • Amy Winehouse Tweeted all kinds of shit about Mark Ronson, including "you're dead to me." Mark was asked what it was all about and said: "I'm not really sure. I was quite surprised because I've always been really candid about saying that Amy is the reason I am on the map… I'm kind of a little bit confused." Amy has since apologized and said something about it being a Jew thing. Sorry, "Jew thingz." [The Star]
  • Ricki Lake's house burned down, but she says she is "counting her blessings" and "very grateful that her family was unharmed." [ShowbizSpy]
  • Poor Susan Boyle is being "bombarded" with crank calls from an obsessed fan. [Hindustan Times]
  • Eh, who can keep up with this Oksana and Mel business? [TMZ]
  • There's some kind of news about Randy and Evi Quaid, but I can't even read it because the photo accompanying the item is so hilarious. [TMZ]
  • Winona Ryder, Martin Short, Catherine O'Hara and Martin Landau have been cast in Tim Burton's Frankenweenie. [Digital Spy]
  • Catch Me If You Can, the story of a con artist who pretended to be a doctor, lawyer and jet pilot — played on the screen by Leonardo DiCaprio — will be a Broadway musical. [Playbill]
  • Wait, what?!?!?! Goodfellas almost starred Madonna and Tom Cruise??? [NY Post]
  • Dancehall/reggae artist Bounty Killer was arrested in Jamaica for allegedly beating a woman with a hammer. [All Hip Hop]
  • Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon is engaged. [People]
  • "We went on vacation for two weeks and sailed down the Amalfi Coast to Sicily with the whole family. Then we gave the children to Grandma and Grandpa while Heidi and I went to London for a week of misbehaving! We stayed in bed all day and then went out at night. It was amazing and so important to have that time together." — Seal, aka one half of the most romantic couple ever. [Contact Music]

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Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies of all time. If it had starred Tom Cruise and Madonna I'm fairly certain that is a sentence that no one would ever say.

And I knew I'd never be a true Gen-Xer when I saw Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites and thought to myself most of the time "Why is his hair so filthy?" I may have been the only one who walked out of there thinking, "She'd have been sooo much better off with Ben Stiller."