These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

We already knew Strawberry Shortcake was a sexy goner, but — et tu, Tinkerbell? In this brave new world, every childhood icon is lissome and dressed in tight jeans. And when she's not? Well, let's just say these fairies must have a good waxer. We're not even going to talk about the sexy horse. See the whole gallery here; these are a few we found most disturbing.

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Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry


These teen monsters — students at Monster High — are all supernatural. Which may explain Monster High's dress code. It does not explain their physiques.

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Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

Holly Hobby's pants have gotten uncomfortably snug. As is the way of the modernized toy, her bonnet has morphed into a Kangol-style flat cap.

Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

New Zealand's "Lollipop Girls" are, at least, models, which goes some way towards explaining their uniform bodytypes. And, you know, maybe they're walking for...Cavalli.

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Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

As these things go, Rainbow Brite is still a relative innocent — albeit a taller, slimmer and slightly sultrier one.

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Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry

These are troll dolls. Moving on.

Illustration for article titled These Sexy Toys Make Our Childhoods Cry
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Ah, the sexy horse. This creature rejoices in the name of "Struts." Is it just us, or does her top suggest...a bosom?

(Images via MSNBC)

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DISCUSSION

intangiblemango
intangiblemango

That horse may be the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. Imagine the real life version of that horse. IMAGINE IT.