App Lets Unborn Babies Magically Name Themselves

Illustration for article titled App Lets Unborn Babies Magically Name Themselves

Each of us had a name thrust upon us before we'd developed the ability to speak, but now a new phone app aims to give babies some input on their moniker. After parents-to-be create a list of favorites in Kick to Pick, they can hold the phone on the mom's belly and let the baby's movements make the final call. Now instead of being saddled with a name their parents spent months mulling over, people can take pride in knowing their name was selected via a random kick in utero — or particularly rough bout of mom's indigestion.

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One time, a dad at our local playground (in a really douchey part of Queens) asked me who I named my son, Sebastian, after- "because you can't possibly LIKE that name!" (His exact words.) I'm pretty sure my lip curled with a venomous sneer, because I had always loved that name. Oddly, it is not uncommon in my immigrant-heavy neighborhood (lots of Polish and Eastern European folks, there are at least 5 little Sebastians within a 2 block radius), this person was an old school, all American Queens Guy.

It's just funny how people will make judgement calls on parents depending on how they name their kids. We named our kid that name because it can be said in English and Spanish with minimal mangling (also, have you ever seen a Sebastian who was not handsome? It's a hottie name). We've already settled on 2 equally elaborate, bilingual, uncommon names for LilBuckyJr #2. It helps that my husband has an incredibly unusual name that is beautiful, evocative and unpronounceable to the majority of the population. I keep hinting that I want to name a boy after him, but he won't allow it (he and his dad share the name).