Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker Want to Frankenstein Their Bodies to Create a Sexy Monster

Illustration for article titled Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker Want to Frankenstein Their Bodies to Create a Sexy Monster

Have you ever wondered what celebrities talk about when sequestered away making a movie on location? Well, when it came to Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna on the set of Battleship it was tits and ass, apparently. Gushing, we hope drunkenly, about how amazing each other's bodies were, the pair decided that while they were both doing okay in the physique department a few adjustments would be welcome. "We are envious of each other's bodies," said Decker. "We decided that I'm going to borrow her butt for a day — and she's going to borrow my breasts." Though the thought of their bodies Frankensteined together creates an interesting mental picture, Decker will have to get used to her breasts getting flashed around – as Rihanna is wont to do with her own. "Because I'm such a tomboy, I hate showing off my body," added Decker. [Us]

Remember when Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" first dropped and there were comparisons to Madonna's "Express Yourself"? Well, the first queen of pop made her feelings known during rehearsals for her MDNA tour — doing a mash-up of the two tunes before repeatedly chanting: "She's not me… she's not me… SHE'S NOT ME!" [Vulture]


Illustration for article titled Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker Want to Frankenstein Their Bodies to Create a Sexy Monster

Sad and sweet, Prince William told Katie Couric that he wished his mom, Princess Diana, had met his wife, Kate Middleton, on their wedding day. "I sort of prepared myself beforehand," he said. "[But] it's the one time since she's died where I've… thought to myself it would be fantastic if she was here, and just how sad really for her, more than anything, not being able to see it." [Page Six]
Though Prince William obviously looks up to his dearly departed mom, a new biography makes claims he doesn't feel quite the same about his dad and feared the patriarch's cheating streak might make him cheat on Middleton — so much so that he almost didn't marry her. [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker Want to Frankenstein Their Bodies to Create a Sexy Monster

You don't want to get on the wrong side of airport officials, but Kim Kardashian has challenged British Airways to a duel by accusing them of stealing her shit. "Very disappointed in British Airways for opening my luggage and taking some special items of mine," she Tweeted. "Some things are sentimental and not replaceable. What happened to the days when you could lock your bags! We need to get back to that. There's no sense of security and no trust!" [BBC]
She can always turn to Kanye West for support, the singer proving she's his number one focus after blowing off work to hang with her. [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker Want to Frankenstein Their Bodies to Create a Sexy Monster

A charity soccer match almost turned into a celebrity death match after Will Ferrell hobbled off the field with an apparent leg injury and Gordon Ramsay was taken off by a stretcher. Though he seems to be okay now. "Thx 4 all the messages," he Tweeted. "Out of hospital after receiving amazing care from medics at ground & hospital. Bit sore but fine." [People]

  • Jennifer Lopez and Marc Athony did their best not to claw each others eyes out onstage as they promoted their series Q'Viva! The Chosen in Las Vegas, opting instead for a warm hug. [Page Six]
  • If you dreamed a dream that you could see more pictures from the set of Les Miserables, it's your lucky day: Amanda Seyfried, Hugh Jackman and Eddie Redmayne look ready for that castle on a cloud. [JustJared]
  • In case you missed it: Keira Knightley is engaged. [CNN]
  • It's weird that they point out how wealthy he is in this article seeing as how she's not doing too poorly herself, but Kim Cattrall is dating artist Clifford Ross. [Page Six]
  • A passionate PDA and an engagement ring flash, Keira Knightley is giving the paps what they want/living life like a normal person. [E!]
  • Elvis fans take note: they're auctioning off the entrance to a private crypt that once housed his body. Classy. [E!]
  • Honorary degrees can be kind of bullshit, especially to all of those who worked their ass off to get one through regular channels, but Robert De Niro picked up an honorary doctorate of fine arts from Bates College. [E!]
  • David Beckham does his best to get readers wet as he emerges from a pool in the pages of July's issue of Elle UK. He and his tattoos are also on the cover — the mag's first-ever male cover model. [Us, Elle UK]
  • Khloe Kardashian is excited about Kourtney Kardashian's daughter, who has not yet been born: "All I want to do is dip my niece in glitter and put a tutu on her!" [Us]
  • Witness Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan's transition from regular gazillionaire and partner to tabloid fodder. The secret ingredient: marriage! In Italy on their honeymoon, entertainment hacks are stalking their every move. "I showed them my photo of Jesse Eisenberg," said cornered restaurant owner, Lorenzo Lisi of Pierluigi. "We had a laugh because everyone who sees the picture at the restaurant says 'Hey that's the guy from Facebook.'" [Us]
  • Todd Bridges, of Diff'rent Strokes fame, and his wife Dori have split after 14 years of marriage. [People]
  • You're not going to get Kelly Clarkson in stilettos, says Kelly Clarkson. [People]
  • Britney Spears has a simple, but effective, salary bargaining technique: make sure she's paid more than Jennifer Lopez. [TMZ]
  • The pap that got roughed up by Justin Bieber must have had no idea the singer has been training with Mike Tyson. [TMZ]
  • P Diddy wants to marry someone, anyone! He said so himself. [Radar]
  • Sharon Stone dons an intriguing wardrobe of guns, lingerie and a short, dark wig for a short film for French magazine French Revue. Sassy. [Daily Mail]

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Before everyone continues to rag on Brooklyn Decker's so-called hypocrisy, I'd ask you to consider some quotes from her Self Magazine interview in 2011:

"When I was younger, I was insecure about being gangly and having no shape. People made fun of me and called me a boy! I remember praying for boobs and a butt."

Clearly, the boobs & butt eventually arrived. I'd consider entirely understandable turn of events to go from teased shapeless girl to wanting to proudly show off your newfound curves. She continues:

"Luckily, I grew into myself and got curves, but when I was first modeling, I wished for that boyish... body again!"

Because as we all know, the modeling industry is not desirous of curvaceous figures, Decker found hers to be strike against her. It didn't help that the environment she occupied lent itself to disordered eating habits.

"When I moved to New York, I was always with other aspiring models. There were bingers and purgers, and everyone watched each other eat. It freaked me out. I did juice fasts and crazy diets and ended up gaining weight. My father did an intervention and got me to stop obsessing about everyone else and wrecking my body."

Shortly after landing the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover, long regarded as career coup that catapults a model to the status of supermodel, Decker, to the chagrin of her agency, quit modeling in lieu of an acting career. It's really not difficult to understand why she made the switch, or why she's no longer keen to show off her body.

Seriously, y'all, perhaps you might consider drinking your morning coffee before reading dirtbag. You might find some human sympathy at the bottom of the cup. I find myself constantly disappointed by the collective need to tear beautiful women to shreds on these boards.