So, Scarlett Johansson's album of Tom Waits covers sounds like it's not going to be an abject failure. "Sounds to me like the work of someone who understands her limitations and is comfortable working within them," writes Pitchfork, and, oh yeah, a New York's Nick Catucci is declaring it the best album ever made by a carbon-based organism — "If we had to grade it on a rating system, we would give it one burning, elemental star, in honor of Scarlett Johansson herself" — in a way that conjures a guy pretending to cream his pants to cover up the fact that he already creamed his pants. Anyway, moving on, Zooey Deschanel, Scarjo's sister in indie-mainstream starlet-sweetheartitude, is also putting out some new album right now, only she actually writes her songs and regularly allows such profundities to escape from her mouth as ""I like the way people react when you bake, which is, like, just pure childlike joy." Apparently her music is a cross between Jenny Lewis and Carly Simon and sunshine and a handknit dog sweater.

Okay. There is not much to say except we are at a crossroads. I can feel some traces of the old hater fluid trying to trickle into my veins, but is it possible that the massive blockage left from the residue of Kardashians and Real Housewives and that girl on Rock of Love — what girl? you know, the one with all the surgery who cried over something that was so much like nothing I couldn't even follow... — and Ashley Alexandra Dupre and that blond anchor on Fox News who gives all those irksome speeches — what blond anchor? Erghhh...and Dana Perino and Madonna and Fergie...I have NO MORE HATE TO GIVE?

On New Album, Not Merely Acting Like A Singer [NYT]