Ah, can you smell it? Sticky backseats of limos, overpriced steak dinners, cheap corsages, cheaper perfume, and lost virginity: Yes, prom season is among us. (Though to be frank: I went to the prom both years with a gay guy, so my virginity was plenty intact the morning after, but that's another story.) Prom season = prom magazines, so this weekend, I pored over the pages of Teen Vogue's prom issue, the special edition CosmoGirl! Prom, Teen Prom and Your Prom to discover what "trends" they are pushing this season. After the jump, prepare to be terrified by the best (aka - worst) stories of Prom Season 2008.

CosmoGIRL! Prom:
CosmoGIRL! Prom wants teen girls to know that it's okay if they're not a size 00. At least, that's the message I got from the fact that the best-dresses-for-curvy-girls spread "Calling All Curves" was placed right next to an undergarments package "Undercover Agents."

Take Away: CosmoGIRL! Prom thinks all girls who are more than 80 lbs. are whores with bad taste.

Teen Vogue:
Despite a Cover Lie announcing that prom stories are within, there is (thankfully) very little actual prom content in the pages of Teen Vogue. There is, however, a young Upper East Side high schooler who is having Zac Posen custom-design her prom dress. (For those who can't have a designer make them dress, the magazine also offers helpful hints from another designer on how to make your own. Yeah right.)

Take Away: If you have to ask, you can't afford it... and probably can't figure out how to sew your own.

Teen Prom:
Teen Prom showcases run-of-the-mill "model-type" girls, but not just in any ordinary fashion editorial spread! Oh no, Teen Prom wants teen girls to "funkify" their look, by infusing their prom dresses with a touch of punky personal style:

Take Away: Teen Prom thinks young women have no sense of color or proportion.

Your Prom:
Sure, Your Prom has American Idol winner Jordin Sparks on the cover, but I was hard-pressed to find a single article about her. All we saw were ads, which seem to have been shot in 1982.

Take Away: You know how you heard the 80's are back? They're not.

Earlier: Weetzie Bat: The Book For Girls Who Ended Up Taking A Gay Dude To Prom
Heroes' Hayden Panettiere Is An American Everywoman