One of the reasons New York is really funny — and annoying — is because the city has "socialites": Self-important, wealthy women with ridiculous names (Byrdie Bell, Tinsley Mortimer, Susan Shin, Carrie Cloud, Valesca Guerrand-Hermes) who like to go to parties where they buy "tables" so that they can wear expensive shit, have their pictures taken, and in the process, fuel their sense of self-importance. Often, they consider these activities to be "work"! But based on last night's benefit for the Museum of the City of New York, some of them may need to look for a new job... or a new stylist. After the jump, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of a high-society event, silly names and all.

The Good:

This dress is sorta stupid, but also kinda awesome. And it's won by Byrdie Bell, whose name makes me laugh, laugh, laugh.

It takes a brave woman to put red ruffles on her ass, Cristina Greeven Cuomo.

When boho stylings happen to handbag heiresses who are really not bohemian.

Jennifer Creel: The only one who got the memo about playing it simple and classy?

The Bad:

A double-whammy of bad: Carrie Cloud looks like she stole Extra #8's costume from The O.C. and Lara Meiland's dress is irritating.

Doug Hannant is the only redeeming thing about Valesca Guerrand-Hermes's puke green column.

Ahhhhh my retinas! Thanks a bunch, Jamee Gregory.

I think there is a sea creature on Olivia Palermo's shift.

Is wearing a black dress better than wearing a dress with a sea-creature on it? Only Renee Rockefeller can answer that question.

Why did no one stop Susan Shin before leaving the house?

The Ugly:

The time machine broke down and Cynthia Lufkin got stuck somewhere between Tara and Saved by the Bell.

Nicole Miller has done little to disabuse me of the belief that fashion designers are always the worst-dressed ones in the room.

[Images via Getty.]