"Designers are raiding vintage shops (and David Lynch flicks?) for ideas, producing quirky, glamourous clothes, worn defiantly disheveled." That's the conceit of a "Retro Fabulous" fashion story shot by Mel Karch (and edited by Tracy Taylor) in the March issue of Marie Claire. The result? A model pouts and slouches her way around a dusty trailer park, clad in a fifteen-hundred-dollar Louis Vuitton blouse and a four thousand dollar Marc Jacobs cape. In fact, all we can afford are the socks and tights. The shoot in question, after the jump. Plus: We write additional captions, to help the editors out.

"I come out here after Judge Judy and just think about life. And the dust getting on my shoes."
Cape, $1,620, top, $1,550, skirt, Louis Vuitton; shoes, $551, Guiseppe Zanotti Design; necklace, $160, Roxanne Assoulin for Lee Angel; socks, $6, Hue.

"Twister? No, there wasn't a twister. I just used some extra hair gel today. But hey, my dress is caught on this chain link fence. A little help?"
Top, $775, skirt, $420, Marni; black tunic, $125, Pure DKNY; necklace, $985, Erickson Beamon for Zufi Amexander; gloves, $19, Greatlookz; bracelet, $815, Erickson Beamon.

"I'm gonna get me a reality show. That's my ticket outta here, I tell ya!"
Cardigan, $980, corset, $1,230, skirt, $1,180, shoes, $110, Bottega Veneta; bra, $84, Huit; brooches, $350 to $600, Carole Tanenbaum Vintage collection; tights, $12, DKNY Hosiery.

"I know what you're going to say. Junior is the foxiest kid in his class. Oh, you're wondering why he's not wearing shoes? Well, we spent all we had on my outfit."
Cape, $3900, bra, $250, pants, $850, shoes, $596, headband, price upon request, necklace, $871, brooch, $2,095, Marc Jacobs
By the way, here is an RV that costs less than her cape. It's $2,995 and you can drive it to Mexico.

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to look this cheap."
Romper, $295, belt, $450, Emporio Armani; bra, $34, Intimissimi for Victoria's Secret; shoes, $495, Max Azria; earrings, $200, Carole Tanenbaum Vintage Collection; socks, $16, DKNY Hosiery; stole (on ground) $2100, Michael Kors furs.
Total: $3,590. Or you could bid on this 1969 Airstream and take a group of friends to the Grand Canyon.

"Are the bunnies more fashiony than I am? Well, they are wearing fur."
Jacket, $278, BCBG MaxAzria; cardigan, $168, Eternal Child; bra, $90, Araks; skirt, $398, Max Azria; shoes, $495, Tashkent by Cheyenne; necklace, $70, Yochi Design; tights, $18, DKNY Hosiery.

"Look, I know this is a trailer park, but I'm only 20 years old. No way this is my kid. And no way is this my car. My necklace costs more than this car."
Jacket, $458, Rebecca Taylor; top, $694, Erin Feathertson; skirt, $158, BCBG MaxAzria; shoes, $551, Giuseppe Zanotti Design; necklace, $1450, Subversive Jewelry by Justin Giunta; gloves, $100, LaCrasia; slip, $80, Donna Karan Intimates; tights, $12, DKNY Hosiery.

Earlier: Marie Claire & The 75-Year-Old Bhutanese Model
'Marie Claire' Editors Went To Italy And All They Got Was This Awesome Photo Shoot