Geri Halliwell took time out of the Spice Girls Reunion tour Jennie's been wetting herself over to pay a visit on my hometown yesterday. She hung out with old geezers and talked about AIDS in Africa. She weighed in the election with kind words for all the candidates — "that's amazing too, that, you know, that the fellow's still got life in his bones," she said of McCain, although if you read it "life in his boners" that's cool too — and generally charmed everyone. And what was everyone's OMG favorite post-Spice Spice doing in the meantime? Ehhh, fuck if I know, but I think it had something to do with a gala corporate-sponsored seven-figure third birthday party for her son Cruz and okaying another endorsement contract to pay for it. I know, I know that in a world where Scarlett Johansson has a record deal, there is not supposed to be any modicum of justice, but why doesn't Geri Halliwell get more love when her wretched tanorexic preposterous ugly developmentally disabled private jet fuel-guzzling former bandmate gets so damn much?

Everything about Geri has always been more awesome. Topless photos, drag queen hair, children's books based on the Spice Girls, humanitarian work, no plans for another solo vanity project because "When I see how desperate people are for that chance, I realize I've had my turn, and now I have to let it go" — okay, whatever but. I even cheered silently for Geri when she finally — and healthily! — lost those stubborn extra pounds that kept her from looking attractive in white humanitarian celebrity outfits like this. Wherefore the Poshtardedness?

The Congressman Yields The Floor To Miss Spice [Washington Post]