To be honest, we don't know what the hell the narrator is saying in this vintage Asics sneaker ad from Japan. And why the company used the spread legs of a young lady to sell its running shoes is beyond us. Is it because guys like the chase? Or are girls supposed to assume they can run from crotchwatchers faster? Can anyone translate? Clip above.

Retro Dirtiness: Asics Sells Running Shoes With Crotch Shots [TV In Japan]