Old Broads Should Be Allowed To Chug Brew

“Under what conditions do you consider it appropriate for an elderly ‘lady’ to drink beer directly from the bottle?” asks a reader of the syndicated Miss Manners column today. The reader goes on to describe the situation: The scene is “an upscale retirement facility” where there is happy hour before dinner. Residents often bring their drinks from happy hour to the dinner table, which is fine, but the dining room is “very nice.” The complaint? “One woman (age 70 to 75) brings a beer and drinks it from the bottle during her dinner. I contend that anyone who brings the beer with them should have it poured into a glass — particularly an elderly woman.” Miss Manners answers, “chug-a-lugging is not becoming in such circumstances… For anyone of any age or gender.” But Miss Manners — if that is her real name — is forgetting something very important:

If a woman lives to be 75, she should be able to chug her beer in a dining room. She should chug her beer in a boat, she should chug her beer with a goat, she should chug her beer here and there; she should chug her beer anywhere. And this is coming from a person who is a stickler about manners! But when it comes to booze and old broads, propriety simply flies out the window. Hasn’t this lady earned the right to chug when and where she wants? Anyway, I’m off to go enjoy a beer.