That's right ladies, check him out. You thought Janka was bad? Until recently David Colby was pimpin all over the continental USA, "carrying on" with more than 30 women and proposing to at least twelve of them in the space of two years, promising them houses and boob jobs and whatever it took get them to share in the joy of herpes and chlamydia. When one woman found out he wasn't, as he'd told her, actually divorced, he gave her a hundred grand just to make her feel more secure. He did that a lot: giving women guarantees against his infidelities; he promised one a house, and another — a single mom — surgery for her kid. How'd he handle it all? By being the CEO of a huge and richly lucrative insurance company! When he wanted to drop a lady, he just "went back on his word with all the compassion of a health insurance company denying a claim." Like when the single mom got pregnant, he simply texted her: "ABORT!!"
So anyway, I was thinking, wow, this story sure seems like an apt metaphor for corporate America, yeah? But it turns out he was known for being pretty honest in the business community.
"He would give you the good news along with the bad news," Carroll said. "If he said something, you could really hang your hat on it."
Ha ha ha, and wherever he laid his hat was his home!
So yeah. Forget all this. David Colby is just an apt metaphor for all other douchebags. Also: an insurance company executive. I think that's pretty much it.