Feeling fat? Just stand up! Nah, you don't have to go to the gym. Seriously, just standing is all the weight loss police are asking of you now.

It turns out that sitting for hours at a time, as so many of us do in these days of ubiquitous computers and electronic games and 24-hour television, attacks the body in ways that have not been well understood. "It was hard to believe at first," said Marc Hamilton, associate professor of biomedical sciences at the University of Missouri-Columbia and leader of the research team. He said the team didn't expect to find a strong signal when they began researching what happens to fat when we remain seated. But the effect, both in laboratory animals and humans, turned out to be huge.

Uh, I'm taking it Dr. Hamilton has never been a waitress? So like, the new recommendation of the obesity authorities is "puttering," whatever that is, and I might throw in a "one-minute dance party" here and there. And now that I'm standing, I'm remembering that I would like a cigarette and another five milligrams of my medication, and those are probably things that can help me lose weight too. Oooh man, and come to think of it, I'm hungry...

But shit, no time to get food. Sitting down again. Because I'm working. So yeah, I suppose this is a good time to bring up with you guys how the fuck you deal with sitting all the time. Because that's what you're doing now, right? And if you stand up to go to the bathroom or something, won't you be tempted to pass by that person who keeps gross-and-yet-somehow-still-tantalizing sweets in a jar to undermine all of her co-workers? Won't you maybe want to putter over to the vending machine? Yeah, better just stay put.

A New Way To Control Weight? [ABC News]