Diagram courtesy Jamphat.

Simple, straightforward question: what is it with streaks? Why do we endure such spells of drought? And why, when it chooseth to rain, doth it feel compelled to pour? Is it pheromones? Is there a chapter about this in The Wisdom Of Crowds? Is it contagious, like yawning? Forget weight fluctuations and haircuts, changing schools or jobs or cities: I swear to God the sex streak correlates with nothing logical, just as its more malevolent opponent the dry spell can plague a person in her most amiable, attractive, and easiest stages of life. I've endured two year-long streaks without sex in my life; and always, inevitably, when the right reprieve comes along there are like forty nine drunks lining up to follow him. And then just as inevitably, the streak will end thusly: the quality of the sex will reach that point at which it is inversely related to the level of comfort/understanding I have with the partner, and I'll freak out and tell the person I have issues with "false intimacy," which is a line I stole from my friend Don, who once had sex with two girls and got a blow job from another in the space of 24 hours.

That's nothing, though: one Jezebel who's gone more than three months without sex once had a streak of 23 in a single month. Meanwhile, another two Jezebels have found themselves wandering together through the "fucking Sahara" for months and months upon months now. I'm sure there is some science to this, but I'm lazy: wherefore the tyranny of the "streak" and more importantly, how does one break out of it?

Ha ha ha, service journalism.