Not to speak ill of my neighbors or anything, but Marie Claire style director Cleo Glyde always struck me as a somewhat silly person. I mean, she runs pictures of herself in the magazine every month, generally modeling some extreme new style trend with a Zoolanderish expresssion on her face, and she did a column last month about being styled by Rachel Zoe, and she once wrote about how she used to be a model but she hated eating nothing but grapes and laxatives all day or something, which is why it's good there is such a market for preaching "body acceptance" to American women, so she just started eating and learning to accept her body, with the help of two liposuction procedures. Anyway, I mean, now that I'm laying it all out there, it's really no biggie, but Cleo seems to think it's time for some soul-searching, so just in time for the holiday December 2007 issue she decided to "reset [her] moral clock" and "live Biblically" for awhile, inspired by the new A.J. Jacobs book The Year of Living Biblically, only Cleo already told us she is not that great at dieting so she only does it for a week. And how does it go?
Okay, so we learn she has "committed adultery." On whom? Whatever. It is unclear why she feels compelled to wear these flow-y brocade scrub type things, maybe because white is not the most flattering color, but anyway she "lets" some bitch take her taxi, refrains from gossip about Marc Jacobs' new boyfriend and buying something at a sample sale, and gives her Luna bar money to a homeless guy, although it's possible that was just about avoiding the carbs. And when it is all over, like many of those writers who do wacky things like stop drinking or eating only raw food for a week, she feels really good! "Humming with a sense of purpose—that's the payoff for all the lifestyle sacrifices." But maybe, like with the grape diet, is is just better to accept your own purposelessness?
And yet, zipping up my Calvin Klein dress in inky black and snapping on clanking, faux-deco Lia Sophia cuffs, I'm also relieved to be back in the pleasure dome. Here's to walking the path of righteousness in 6-inch heels.
Oh Cleo, if you're gonna put it that way, the whole "wearing stilettos to make yourself look thinner" works a lot better when you're not already six feet tall!