Makeup was invented to make you look hot. And as we all know, Halloween was also invented to make you look hot. Seriously, who among us didn't love Halloween as a kid solely because it was a chance to apply pretty lipstick and eyeshadow and pink mascara? And yes, in this case "solely" means "besides the lifetime supply of fun-sized concentrations of corn syrup, duh." But anyway, every Halloween Lipstick Jezbians Lo and Dough — commenters "Lomorale" and "Biscuitdoughjones," for the uninitiated — look in earnest for makeup tips from the extensive Halloween makeup gallery. And every year, MAC comes up with dozens of Halloween makeup ideas that are even more surreal, absurd and mindbogglingly fugly than they were the year before — each at an approximate price tag of a few hundred bucks plus tax, and this year we just had to commend them for it with an annotated gallery.

Seriously, when was the last time the cosmetics industry tried to get you to drop $471 in a single transaction so you could wind up looking like this? You have to fucking hand it to them.