So if you don't pay attention to certain other blogs you might not know about Jeffrey Epstein, who is a billionaire hedge whatever who paid underage models to have all kinds of kinky sex... and then one of them filed suit .... and it turns out her lawyer is also a model agent and more interestingly also her boyfriend and more interestingly than that, he is a total grody senior citizen OMG just look. I know what you're thinking: Did the real estate market drive every last remaining sympathetic character out of this town or what?? But hold on! William Unroch is KIND OF AWESOME! His website, to which New York alerted us, is full of honest, no-holds-barred, to-the-point-of-sounding-faggy advice/wisdom for aspiring models. "Unlike TV nonsense most model apartments are a combination of animal house, homeless shelter, a nursery school, and in some cases a drug den," he writes. To aspiring models from the Middle East he writes: "Sorry life is not fair." But the best part is where he reveals the true sign of a decent man.

Judging a person by the size of their television can be very accurate especially if the guy is older. Generally men with small televisions are either intellectuals, cheapskates, or travel a lot. One of the finest men I know has a 15" screen. However should he meet the right girl he would buy a 50" hdtv right away.

What? Yeah, genius is what. Like, wait, is a huge TV the secret to banging models? Ha ha, like he would tell you. But it sounds almost plausible? Although maybe they have to be abused first?

William Unroch Should Totally Be On America's Next Top Model [NY Mag]