Doris Lessing is an awesomely salty old bitch. This morning when she was told about her Nobel Prize win, Doris's first reaction was, "Oh Christ! ... I couldn't care less." Lessing continued, "I can't say I'm overwhelmed with surprise. I'm 88 years old and they can't give the Nobel to someone who's dead, so I think they were probably thinking they'd probably better give it to me now before I've popped off." She also said that the awards process is "graceless" and it "doesn't mean anything artistically." Doris, will you be my grandma? Or at least have a scotch with me and tell me to piss off? [Yahoo News]