Do you find yourself engaged in mindless small talk during a gynecological exam? Like about the weather, or the office decor, or really anything, so long as it takes your mind off the fact that there's someone poking around in your privates? Well, you're not alone. Don Gabor, author of Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations tells MSNBC:

There are two typical responses to stressful situations. We either shut down and become completely mute or we prattle on and on. And when odd topics come up, it's because we're grasping at straws.

I suppose that would qualify as the former when I'm in stirrups. Oddly, I find that I often have verbal diarrhea, feeling pressure to fill any silence with the sound of my own voice, but when my legs are wide open, my mouth stays shut. But the same doesn't go for my (former) gyno. Bitch was always asking me about shit I didn't want to talk about, like what exactly I do at my job or if I take my winter coat to be dry-cleaned; you know, the kind of chit-chatty topics that are slightly naggy when coming from my mom or someone inserting forceps in me. Like, just shut up and do your job!


But according to Dr. Kim Alumbaugh, small talk distraction is a common icebreaker technique when doing intimate procedures.

Once the exam starts and they're in the stirrups, I always ask them to slide down another 20 feet. And then we'll talk about shoes or vacations or their kids or exercise or whatever. It's almost like a little cocktail party. You try to keep the conversation flowing.

I'm all for a cocktail party between my legs, but my gyno is not invited. What do you guys think?

How 'Bout Those Mets? Stirrups Spur Small Talk[MSNBC]