Today the Daily Mail has an article about why women fall for cads. Of course, this story is not written by a noted doctor or social scientist, but by a British TV presenter named Ulrika Jonsson. She claims, "Psychologists have finally discovered why we women fall for cads. A new study suggests that we're quite willing to overlook a man's bad manners and surliness if he's a terrific flirt." Eh, maybe. The truth is, plenty of women find themselves attracted to surly, brooding non-flirty jackasses everyday. But yeah, flirts too. Why? Ulrika writes, "Flirting is always a sign of confidence, and women love a man who is self-assured." Okay, we'll buy that. But not every self-assured man is also a jerk. And some women are drawn to the baddies. Ulrika offers this: "I think it's because some of us are keen to 'mend' a broken, difficult, awkward man — we see it as a challenge and these men become our projects."
This seems closer to the mark. A "difficult" man can be a challenge, a puzzle to solve.
Some guys ooze mystery, and nothing is more irresistible than a riddle. Buut Ulrika has some other theories:
If, as some psychologists suggest, the way we view emotional attachments is laid down before we are eight, it stands to reason that those women with less security, assurance and good role models as children are going to have a slightly warped sense of what real love and kindness is all about.
As a result, I chose boyfriends who, like my father, were less than emotionally literate, and who were ill-equipped to enter into a serious and caring relationship. Ironically, that suited me because I could say the same thing about myself.
This is troubling, because can't you have a great dad and still think some aloof James Dean type is smokin' hot? Is swooning over a rebel without a clue necessarily a sign of insecurity? Can't you be smitten with a scowling scoundrel simply because he's fucking sexy?
Why Women Fall For Cads [Daily Mail]