I've seen a lot in my day, but some shit surprises even me. For instance I didn't figure I would see a drunk guy story today that beat the story of the drunk guy who got trapped in his ex's chimney; then came the story of the drunk guy who thought a good strategy for impressing his girlfriend would be to put a live rattlesnake in his mouth. I figured O.J. would not be allowed to post a teensy tiny incidental amount of bail and be free; I was wrong. I thought today's stock market, considering all the crappy retail sale forecasts and the oil prices and the precarious home loans and the fact it went totally bananas yesterday and traders like to perform a round of profit taking when a rate cut is followed by a stock market rally that really has no basis in positive economic fundamentals because the country is going to shit, would pull back a bit: Wrong. I figured Al Sharpton would be the biggest obstacle to Barack Obama's blackness; then Jesse Jackson did it for him, undermining the candidate he'd endorsed just months. And I never really thought of Dan Rather as a $70 million lawsuit kind of guy.

I didn't think that record-low approval ratings for basically all our federal decision makers could possibly spell hope for John McCain's broke-ass campaign. I didn't think Republicans would be so eager to publicly and unanimously join Bush in his whole not caring about black people policy; no really, even I gave them more credit. I didn't think the Wall Street Journal would stop charging money for its articles. I didn't think getting robbed could be as funny as getting tasered. But those, I suppose, are the ways of the blogiverse. Each post I write knowing less than I did while writing the previous post. And by tomorrow I will have watched Gossip Girl so Jesus Christ, I could be even more dumb.