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3 Important Things To Note About Lady Gaga's New Album

Illustration for article titled 3 Important Things To Note About Lady Gagas New Album

On New Year's Day, Lady Gaga Tweeted that her new song will be out on February 13, and her new album will drop on May 23. She also offered a picture, from which we can glean some vital information.

  • 1. 2011 Will Be Asstastic
    Starting in 2009 and continuing through 2010, we attempted to get to the bottom of the anti-pants movement and the anti-pants agenda. Celebs like Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera rocked leg-baring bodysuits, leotards and tap pants, proving that the thighs have it. But don't get left behind! But as seen in the Tweeted image and in a picture taken December 21 in Paris, Gaga is ushering in the era of the full moon. Consider it the dawn of crack!
  • 2. Unicorns Are Back
    Dig out your Trapper Keepers and Lisa Frank stationery. Gaga has a unicorn tattoo and a unicorn on her jacket. Time for us to log on to Cornify once again! Known as a symbol of purity, a stand-in for Christ and a phallic symbol — not to mention the subject of ironic tattoos, the unicorn will be casting a mystic spell upon us in 2011. Note: Narwhal enthusiasts, we regret to inform you that once again, this is not your year. Maybe 2012!
  • 3. "Born This Way" Is The New "Whatever"
    You may think that "born this way" goes hand in hand with Lady Gaga's fight for gay rights and work trying to get Don't Ask Don't Tell repealed. True! But we foresee a future in which "born this way" becomes the new catch-all phrase.

    Dave: "Dammit, Jane, you're such a slob!"
    Jane {shrugging}: "Born this way."

  • Jimmy: "Hey Jen, me and the guys are gonna go get born this way and stuff. Wanna join?"
  • Old man: "Kids today are only interested in the Playtendo and the Ninstation and the born this way."

Consider yourself warned.

Lady Gaga [Twitter]

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After death of the World Cup predicting octopus, I, along with a very learned council (read: Guiness-swilling friends at the neighborhood soccer bar) judged that the next World Cup predicting animal would be a gnarwhal. Or narwhal, as is my preferred spelling. So I'm guessing 2014 it's year. *fingers crossed*