We are relieved to announce that long arm of the law has stopped just short of charging Lindsay Lohan with any felonies even though she committed approximately ninety of them this summer according to a friend of ours who defends poor darker-complected felons for a living.

In each incident, the amounts tested were below the .05 grams required for felony charges, according to the district attorney's office...Police tests revealed that a white powder in Lohan's purse was .04 grams of cocaine.

Um, so the difference here was a hundredth of a gram? Luck of the Irish, that! Or maybe just luck of the snow fairies, as they call us up in Harlem. Anyhow in other news the the classy lass might also appear in Hustler.

Whether appearing in the magazine was at all part of the DA's deal was not immediately clear but Larry Flynt works in mysterious ways and we'll forgive him for this one if he tracks down some guy who gave head to Mitt Romney.

Lindsay Lohan Charged In DUI Cases [Yahoo News]