Every August, the September issues of the major women's magazines hit newsstands, and every August, media watchers ooh and aah over these magazines' total page counts, cover girls, weights, etc. So as a way of differentiating ourselves, we decided to put Interns Maria and Cheryl to work adding up each magazine's merchandise in order to determine which title is full of the most shit. In this, our third installment, Maria and Cheryl compare the apparel, accessories, beauty products and other assorted items in Cosmopolitan and Teen Vogue magazines, which are actually full of less shit (the tactile kind, that is) than we thought! After the jump, a breakdown of the two magazines' net 'worth'.

Apparel: $14,580.40 (Most expensive: $690 Behnaz Sarafpour skirt. Least expensive: tie between $39 Soulmates jacket, sweater from Express)
Beauty: $1,072.55 (Most expensive: $270 hairdryer. Least expensive: $3 Aussie gel spray)
Accessories: $11,937.69 (Most expensive: $675 Louis Vuitton shoes. Least expensive: $3 Forever 21 bangle)
Other: $46 (Most expensive: $30 vase from MoMA store. Least expensive: $16 Can candle)
Total Shit: $27,636.64


Teen Vogue
Apparel: $40,479 (Most expensive: tie between $1,995 Michael Kors sweater dress and same-price Chloe sweater. Least expensive: $8 Victoria's Secret Pink boy-shorts)
Beauty: $867 (Most expensive: $76 Stella McCartney 5 Benefits Moisturizing Cream. Least expensive: $5 Max Factor MaxEye Shadow)
Accessories: $28,457 (Most expensive: A.F. Vandevorst shawl, $1,795. Least expensive: $8 We Love Colors green tights)
Other: $4,655 (Most expensive: $1,299 Pierre Paulin Tulip chair by Artifort. Least expensive: $15 Fashionation mini stereo speakers)
Total Shit: $74,458

Earlier: Shameless September Ladymags: 'Lucky' Vs. 'Glamour'
Shameless September Ladymags: 'Elle' Vs. 'Vogue'