• Lindsay Lohan to best friend forever Samantha Ronson: "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. ... I want to marry you and have children with you." Oh god we wish that were actually physically possible. [Gatecrasher]
  • Rosie O'Donnell kind of needs to look into, you know, growing up at this point. [US Weekly]
  • Paris Hilton saw Sicko and was inspired to move to Cuba. Joke! But we can wish! [TMZ]
  • Marilyn Manson's barely-legal actress girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, says all her boyfriends have worn eyeliner at some point. Uh, didn't she date Edward Norton? Ugh. [People]
  • Eva Longoria's wedding was 'simple' and 'personal.' She actually used those terms. [USA Today]
  • Nicole Richie's lawyer is challenging the court drug experts. Too bad they can't call in Nicole Richie as an expert witness! [TMZ]
  • Something about Prince Harry's firecrotch. [The Sun]