Rachel: New York late twentysomething, transplanted Kansan. Adam: New York late twentysomething, transplanted Philadelphian. Her: kinda smart, literary, delusions of grandeur drunk slut type. Him: stupid, but so nice and sweet! Her: Jewish. Him: Jewish. This story begins on JDate, builds enough tension to attempt consummation a few dates in, climaxes after TWO minutes (Him: it turns out, never sexed a girl before! At 26! No kidding!) and ends eight months after an uneventful break-up with a seriously crap email! Welcome back to Crap Email From A Dude. The names are made up, but the emails are real. And really really crap.

Have you been tested for HIV? I didn't worry about it when I was with you, but now in hindsight it is on my mind.

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I don't mean to scare you or anything, and I hate to bring it up, but we should've talked about it then, I guess. Just let me know. Thanks Jen. I hope everything else is going well for you. I'm living in Philly now working with my brother. Anyway, talk to you soon.
—Adam

Just how does this story end? Well, they both tested negative. Eventually. But only Adam's new girlfriend knows if he still sucks as bad in bed as he does on email. And Rachel's blog can be found here.