When our very own Moe Tkacik headed to Nicole Miller Bridal to be fitted for a bridesmaid's dress for a wedding she's in this summer, we had to send overzealous fashion-worshipper Jenny Gerson along for the ride. A salesgirl with the best booty in the business was there, but the free champagne both women had hoped for was nowhere to be found. More photos and more on Moe and Jenny's adventures after the jump.

At the Nicole Miller store in SoHo, "bridal" is sequestered in the back, behind closed doors. We assumed this is because the section is so very, very special — and that this is where they let the free booze flow. Behind those deceptively majestic-looking doors however, only bad fluorescent lighting was to be found.
The bridal shop attendee, one of the fiercest looking girls we've ever seen, asked Moe if she was a size zero. Moe laughed (politely). Then, when the salesgirl left to find a sample dress for Moe to try on, we laughed (impolitely) at the idea that anyone over the age of 10 is a natural size zero.

Dress choice #1: A look made all the more ravishing with the wrong undergarments and black socks.

Moe thinks she could teach Nicole Miller a thing or two and improve upon her design with the addition of a little flannel. Nothing says bridal quite like a buffalo check, we always say.

We think our work is done. The fierce salesgirl informs us this is far from the truth — we have a whole other style of dress to try. This next dress is less-than-delicately handed off, and Moe is shoved into the grimy dressing room.

The hot girl once again insists that Moe is a size 0. (Perhaps she's read The Secret, and simply thinks that if she hopes for it, it will come). However, this latest bout of psychological warfare is too much for us to bear, so payment is made (Moe goes with the first dress. In a size six). And we exit, sadly sober, self-consciously fatter.

Nicole Miller