England is so full of frigid, uptight, misinformed men and women that London has had to open an "academy for sex and relationships". Called Amora, the museum-cum-exhibit-cum-sex school (Hee! We said "cum"!) is said to offer Britons everything from a resident sex therapist to crash-courses on lovemaking techniques, including really kinky things like, you know, spanking and shit.

A wall of sex toys โ€” oddly including a range of silicone breast implants โ€” is accompanied by videos of models demonstrating their use. A model of a man bent over invites you to spank him with a paddle, with lights showing whether you've gone too far, like a fairground test-your-strength machine. A plaster cast of a man and a woman invite you to feel inside for their G-spot or prostate. "That's it," they say encouragingly when you hit the right spot.

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Uh, while we're all about interactivity (and we'd pay good money to see Tony Blair with his fingers up a plaster rectum!), we still believe that, like children, sex dolls are probably better seen, not heard.

Art Of Spanking At The Sex Academy [Guardian]