Unless you count the fisting she's been taking from Conde Nast regarding the mind numbing vacuosness of her dating adventures, Sarah DiMuro, the 30-year-old virgin Jane Magazine hired to go up against Glamour blogger Alyssa Shelasky in the Conde intermural Contest To Finally Torment Some Poor Bastard Into Sending Weapons Grade Anthrax To Candace Bushnell For What She Hath Wrought, has not gotten particularly close to reach her goal of doing it with someone. We have even begun to feel for her, because although her sense of self and ability to convey her thoughts are infuriatingly, most days, on par with those of, I dunno — Benjy? — she seems like a nice person. Unlike Alyssa, who owns an apartment. So it is with some gratitude and affection that this tale told by an idiot is finally going to result in sex... at least, within the next..uh...fiscal year?


He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed. Deep, sweet kisses that took away my anxious thoughts. THIS had never happened to me before.

Advertisement

Also, he calls her "DiMuro." Her last name. Like an avuncular gym teacher! We'd make a March Madness joke but you wouldn't get it! Uh, SCORE!?

Havanna Nights [The Virgin Chronicles]