Dear unlucky-in-love Rene Zellweger (it's ok, hon, we almost married a gay man too. Almost, mind you. We didn't actually go through with it. Unlike you.) is out and about this week promoting her new flick Miss Potter and touting her customary curiously smushed up over-ripe lips.

We like Renee, really we do, but for years we've wondered why she does that horrible smush-up no teeth smirk every time she faces the cameras.



Argh! The horror!

At first we figured she had some hidden dental horror, but now we can exclusively reveal why you almost never see Renee Zellwegger flashing some tooth:


Her eyes disappear. No, really:

We remember Linda Evangalista saying once that early in her career a photographer told her she had a weak chin, so she should always pose with her mouth slightly open, to draw attention to it. It's obvious the same guy got to Renee. Poor love.