Congrats to Lil Uzi Vert on His Giant New Forehead Diamond

Illustration for article titled Congrats to Lil Uzi Vert on His Giant New Forehead Diamond
Image: Lil Uzi Vert/Instagram

When I think about saving up for something, it’s usually a decent pair of pants or moisturizer that doesn’t come in an industrial sized jug from the supermarket. For Lil Uzi Vert, it’s a $24 million diamond he’s had affixed to his forehead. 


Last month, the rapper tweeted that he’d been saving up for the...I guess it’s a piercing...since 2017, which makes it a real shame that critics have pointed out it might be off-center. He insists it’s not, explaining that “it still has a long bar in it so it can move ‘cause of the swelling.” As the former proprietor of many facial piercings, I’m not totally sure that the length of the bar impacts its location on one’s face, but since I don’t understand the physics of an 11 carat piercing to begin with, who am I to argue!

Even if it’s not off-center, there are other concerns afoot. For starters, won’t it get caught when removing a shirt? What if a passerby tries to pluck it off his face? What if a seagull swoops down and tries to eat it?! Maybe he should just keep it in his pocket instead. [Page Six]

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I’ve also been saving since 2017 and I am almost at the point where I can afford to replace the zipper in favourite hoodie.

($24 million on a face diamond? I have no idea who Lil Uzi is but it boggles my mind that someone has that sort of money for a face diamond.)