Erykah Badu once said about the many men she’s dated: “I learned just as much from them as they learned from me. I’m a cold motherfucker, though. But the people I’m with are cold too, they’re a reflection of that. Become a cold motherfucker and the motherfuckers will just come like magnets.” It’s certainly a blueprint to live your life by and one that’s worked out for Badu. She’s bagged Andre 3000, Common, the D.O.C., and Jay Electronica. She’s had songs written about her (allegedly) like Outkast’s “Ms. Jackson,” and her collaboration with Common, “Love of My Life (Ode to Hip Hop)” won them both a Grammy. Whatever she’s doing—it’s working!
On Twitter yesterday, a meme was circulated accusing Jada Pinkett Smith and Erykah Badu of having “pussies” that will “fuck your life up.” It’s a bit cruel, and probably sexist, as it ignores the choices of men in their separate relationships and places the burden of those relationship failures squarely on women. Whatever, that’s not really the point. The important thing here is that Badu responded after someone tagged her asking: “Y’all better leave @fatbellybella outta this lol.”
I’ve helpfully transcribed a list of ways that Erykah Badu describes her pussy, in case you need them for reference down the line:
- Midas pussy
- My pussy gives you three wishes
- My pussy is on the Forbes list
- My pussy is the fountain of youth
- My pussy sold out in nine minutes
- My pussy cures ailments
- My pussy changes men
- New pussy is always the best pussy
Hope it helps! Pinkett Smith, meanwhile, has remained silent on the meme. Just as she’s remained silent on her promise to bring herself to the Red Table. Maybe Badu could use her pussy powers to intervene, here? I’m dying of anticipation!
Mariah Carey has written a memoir. Mariah! Carey! Has written a memoir. Mariah Carey has!!! Written!!! A memoir!!! MARIAH CAREY HAS WRITTEN A MEMOIR!!!!!! Did you hear? Mariah Carey—she wrote a memoir! For real, Mariah Carey has literally written a memoir. I really don’t know how more obvious I can make it. Are you even paying attention? Mariah Carey—THE Mariah Carey, the one and only Mariah Carey, often imitated, never duplicated Mariah Carey—has written a memoir. She’s written a memoir! Mariah Carey sat down at a computer, or on a chaise lounge while her ghostwriter sat at the computer, to write a memoir. She really wrote a memoir! I can’t believe it. Mariah Carey wrote a memoir.
Everyone!!!! Please, listen to me!!! Mariah Carey wrote a memoir!!!!! If you need me, I’ll be waking the neighbors up with this:
Here’s Bill Nye, or whatever:
Explain Addison Rae to me, quickly!
Javicia Leslie will be taking over for Ruby Rose as the CW’s Batwoman.
Chrishell Stause wants to date Brad Pitt. [RealiTea With Derek Z]
- Who cares about what’s happening in the world really, considering Kendall Jenner is still frequenting Nobu. Everything is obviously fine! [Just Jared Jr.]
- Charli D’Amelio is apologizing for all that TikTok drama. [Just Jared Jr.]
- Garcelle Beauvais says she gets paid 1,000 times less than “my white counterparts.” I do wonder what that pay disparity equates to on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, considering she’s a more prolific actor than any of those washed-up soap fiends and child stars! [NY Post]
- The new season of The Bachelorette has 41 pools. [Us Weekly]
- Meghan Markle really wants her friends to remain anonymous. [ET]