Kim Kardashian Adds 'Horse Girl' to Her Resume

Illustration for article titled Kim Kardashian Adds Horse Girl to Her Resume
Screenshot: Instagram (Other)

Neigh! That’s the sound a horse makes in America. It’s also a sound heard often on Kim Kardashian’s gargantuan Wyoming ranch, considering the former criminal justice “activist” slash land baroness slash chaos merchant acquired 14 Friesian horses for... well... who really knows why she has 14 horses!

Advertisement

Big news for a Tuesday: Somewhere, Kardashian heiress North West is clip-clopping around her parents’ ranch on a horse with more bundles in its hair than Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie, and Kris kombined. On Twitter yesterday, we non-ranch owners were given just a peek of a brooding and nameless stallion. Pretty! There are 13 more of them.

Advertisement

For what it’s worth, ol’ Kimmie seems to be doing the correct thing, which means: growing to fit your children’s rapidly changing needs and interests. It’s just that, where this would normally mean “stepping on more Legos than you would like,” for oligarchical families like the Kardashians, that apparently equates to “buying 14 horses.” North is very into yee haw aesthetics right now! For her seventh birthday, Kim flew her friends out to ride go-carts, pet horses, stomp around in boots, and eat some delicious cowgirl-hat-shaped cake. That’s nice!

There is possibly a scenario where bragging about the 14 horses you own at your coincidentally priced $14 million ranch (is there some numerology thing going on?) exemplifies Kim’s general inability to “read the room.” But look! She did a nice thing for her kid. That must mean something, although I couldn’t possibly tell you what it is.

Still though, 14 horses! On that massive ranch. How soon do you imagine the sound of clip-clopping will evolve into the eerie hum of a fracking rig? Fellow Wyomingite RuPaul has already joined the latest craze for land barons worldwide, maybe Kim should look into that! Fracking would at least pay for the horses.

Advertisement

Ryan Seacrest, famous job-haver, keeps breaking up with 28-year-old girlfriend Shayna Taylor, who is... a model? Yes, she’s a model. They’ve broken up for the third time. RIP!

Advertisement

Us Weekly has been told by a rep for the couple: “Ryan and Shayna decided to end their romantic relationship amicably some time ago. They remain good friends, each other’s biggest supporters and will always cherish their time together as a couple.” The announcement also comes after the red carpet fixture was seen with a mystery woman in Mexico on Monday, leading the Daily Mail to speculate he and Taylor had split.

Seacrest has also been vocal on Live With Kelly and Ryan that he and Taylor had already broken up two times before, telling co-host Kelly Ripa in the past: “Listen, nothing’s perfect. You just keep trying until you get it right.” Good attitude, dude! Better luck next time.

Advertisement

Remember Paul Walker? Well, here’s a nice thing: His daughter is besties with Vin Diesel’s children! Good for her and them and everyone involved.

Advertisement

Marsai Martin is the most powerful person on the planet:

Advertisement

Something’s up with Cardi B:

Advertisement
  • Kaitlynn Carter told Nick Viall that breaking up with Miley Cyrus was hard. [Us Weekly]
  • Sunny Hostin is writing a book. [People]
  • Brad Pitt was seen leaving Angie’s house on a motorcycle. [Hollywood Life]
  • Ray Fisher appears to be gearing up for a public statement rescinding his previous support of Joss Whedon? [Just Jared]
  • Just who exactly was Tyler Cameron photographed with? [Just Jared]

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

I know it’s not as common in Western riding, but I really wish they were wearing helmets. The kid in particular. Both for safety and to set an example, given the obscene reach of KK’s influence.

I grew up riding, and both times I fell from my super-steady-eddy horse were while trail riding at a walk. He got spooked (once by a piece of machinery that started up in the next field, and another time by a deer) and took off sideways. I ended up on the ground and he was very sheepish. But I had a helmet on and walked away from it.