Saturday Night Social: Yes, I Know, It's Fucking April 25th

Miss Congeniality
Miss Congeniality
Screenshot: YouTube

In the grand old days of yore, when Tumblr was still a site worth visiting both because there was porn there and also because of the weird queer subculture that existed which allowed me to flex my blogging muscles long before I knew I would need them, there were two days a year that I both loved and reviled in equal measure. If I told you one of them was April 25th, then I would assume the other one goes without saying. Yes, of course, it’s October 3rd. Two days that exist in the pantheon of cinematic record-keeping in large part because of the ubiquity of reminders that occur on social media anytime they roll around. I would wager to guess there are very few people you might run into who couldn’t tell you what the significance of either date is, whether they’re familiar with the source material or not.

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Naturally, on October 3rd, “he asked me what day it was,” and, of course, April 25th is the perfect date, “because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.”

I loved and hated these days on Tumblr, and the internet at large, because they turned into competitions to see who could post the requisite memes, gifs, and video clips first. Rarely, if ever, was I first, and as such, I was left to watch other people’s posts accumulate likes and reactions and reblogs, while I sat idly by in an attention-deficient serotonin slump hungry for digital affirmation.

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Eventually, for the most part, I outgrew that very unflattering personality trait and ended up settling on disliking both days because it was annoying to have to scroll past thirty-seven identical posts that lacked any kind of originality or independent thought. Who knew it was possible to replace a horrible personality trait with an equally horrible and begrudging outlook on things? Not me until some very deep reflection, it turns out!

Now, I’ve settled somewhere in the middle. Still a bit peeved after clicking through the ninth Instagram story of the day announcing to me that it is, in fact, April 25th, and also kind of endeared by the posts too. At this point, everyone knows it’s not original to share out a Miss Congeniality clip announcing that today’s date is the perfect date, but the fact that it still brings some people joy to do so warms me up inside just a little bit, and that’s nice. The only true downside is that sometimes April 25th is too hot or too cold, and so the clip doesn’t necessarily hold up. As such, I’m curious, was today the perfect date where you are?

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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DISCUSSION

My father-in-law died of coronavirus last week. You may remember from a few weeks back that my mother-in-law was basically horrible to him throughout the months leading up to his illness and after he was hospitalized. She’d been putting assets in her own name and doing shady stuff with the family business for months. When he got sick, she neglected him and he told us he went for days without food or water until he was able to call someone to take him to the hospital. While he was in the hospital, my MIL called everyone she could think of (incl. his 80 year-old-sister) and claimed he was having an affair and that the marriage was over and she didn’t want to be involved in his care and wasn’t responsible for his medical bills. She never called the hospital to check on him, and DH and I were the ones checking in with him and his doctor every day. He ended up having a massive stroke, after which he took a few days to pass away. The day MIL found out about the stroke, before he even died, she started trying to give away his stuff.

She has continued to be fucking awful, unsurprisingly. As soon as he died, she swooped in and played the grieving widow. After DH made arrangements to get his dad’s things from the funeral home (incl. my FIL’s cellphone, which he actually needs to get in touch with business contacts and notify them), she pulled rank and claimed them herself instead. She arranged his burial without consulting my husband, and then invited a bunch of her own friends (in violation of the current health directives—some of them had to be turned away because of it) and streamed it on the Facebook. Her social media has been non-stop posts about how much she loved this man. Meanwhile, while he was dying, she told me to my face that she wasn’t getting him his needed medications for his underlying conditions because of his “affair. 

She isn’t speaking to either my husband or I now, because she claims we somehow plotted against her by trying to get my FIL’s things. Honestly, it’s a relief not to deal with her in the short term but I know it won’t last. DH is a basket case because, in addition to mourning his father, he now thinks his mother is going to sell off or ruin the business that his father built. For my part, I can’t help but feel like she is directly responsible for my FIL’s death and I’m furious that she’s offered no support to my husband. I honestly wish that we never had to see or hear from her evil ass again. I’m mostly venting, but this whole thing is an amazing cautionary tale as to why it’s a bad idea to stay legally married to someone you hate because of “tradition” or “religion.”