Saturday Night Social: At Least the Pandas Are Fucking

Ying Ying and Le Le
Ying Ying and Le Le
Photo: Ocean Park

It’s up for debate right now whether or not this time is Extremely Horny or Not Horny At All. Personally, I’ve found myself to be more aligned with the latter sentiment, and pretty much can’t imagine a time in my life when I’ve been less aroused by literally anything. There was a time, not too long ago, where April meant that even the sight of an exposed ankle would have gotten me going like some kind of weird horny Victorian-era schoolboy. Living in the northeast I learned that spring fever was definitely, definitely real.


Now, the idea of being turned on by anything feels like all but a distant memory. Clearly, not everyone shares in that feeling, especially the two pandas at Hong Kong’s Ocean Park, who have mated naturally for the first time in a decade.


Ying Ying and Le Le, the Ocean Park pandas, arrived in Hong Kong in 2007 and apparently haven’t messed around with each other since 2010. “The successful natural mating process ... is extremely exciting for all of us, as the chance of pregnancy via natural mating is higher than by artificial insemination,” said Michael Boos, Ocean Park’s executive director of zoological operations and conservation.

Perhaps, now that Ocean Park is closed to the public, Ying Ying and Le Le are simply making the most of their time because they can fuck without fear of being watched. Maybe, this whole time, they were just being modest! According to Ocean Park, the lovers began leaving scent markings for each other right around the time the zoo stopped allowing visitors in and based on the photographic evidence above, it looks like they haven’t wasted any time.

Tonight, I will eat the leftover pizza in my refrigerator and watch Charlie’s Angels for the third time in two weeks in their honor. I might not be horny right now, but at least the pandas are! What say you Saturday Night Socialers, is it panda vibes or are nah?

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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Krispy Porkchops

Shelter Cat Update!

Adoptions continue apace. Charlie Chatterton, subject of my latest advertsiement, went to his forever home this week.

Princess Leia was also adopted earlier this week!

Maximus seems to be feeling better.

Rusty bedeviled my shoelaces relentlessly.

Selfies with Sissy!

Garfield would like your opinion on his grooming. Don’t hold back!

Chase is King of the Castle now. Lookin’ good, fella!

Mojo has rejoined us. Remember my little peanut? He’s not so little anymore, but he’s just as sweet as ever!

Okay, so my work with the traumatized kitties continues. This week, we discovered the Wonderful World of Brushing. Look at this collection! It came off of one cat - Tiger!

I had to pose him with it, for posterity. He was not impressed.

He did, however, relax enough to accept a tummy rub.

Pumpkin got the same treatment.

And Tiger kept a watchful eye.

The Royal Couple.

Last, we have Cali and Lily. Cali introduced herself to me in several cycles, beginning with a peek out of her bin, and then a pop-out visit before returning to the bin.

Her daughter, Lily, was much more shy, so I tried an experiment. I very carefully removed the lid from the bin and let her see that Cali and I were friends. We’ll see how this works out.

It is with deep sadness that I learned of the passing of my friend and former colleague, who lost his battle with the coronavirus. He was Music Director at my first school. I would listen in awe as he directed his Lower and Middle School Choruses, coaxing out of them a sound like a choir of angels. Even after I left the school, I would return to see former students graduate, and always I would beeline to the organ where he would be warming up for the ceremony. His love for his students and his work was infectious. He epitomized everything I loved about that school. So many students have told me how they had zero musical talent, yet they always enjoyed his classes. He was calm and cheerful, infinitely patient. I last saw him a year ago when I stopped by his office to visit before the Alumni Reunion. We had just corresponded last month, right before he fell ill. He left us far too soon. Rest in Peace, my friend.