We Took the Britney Spears Handwriting Challenge, Which We Just Invented

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Screenshot: BritneySpearsVEVO (YouTube)

Early afternoon and with extreme Friday energy, the Jezebel staff began discussing the fact that most of us have never seen each others’ handwriting, in part because handwriting is an increasingly rare facet of 21st century culture. After a brief assertion by Molly Osberg that her handwriting is “actually flawless,” and because we love a good competition, we devised a challenge in which 11 staffers would each anonymously handwrite a line from Britney Spears’s “Lucky,” and video producer Lisa Fischer would both judge the quality of the writing, as well as attempt to guess which fellow staffer wrote it.

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Because we took this very seriously, entries were privately assigned and submitted to editor-in-chief Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, who then compiled and presented them to Fischer. Below are her assessments.

Britney Spears’s “Lucky,” as interpreted by Jezebel Staffers

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Lisa says: This bubble handwriting best embodies the spirit of Britney Spears in the year 2000.

Lisa’s guess: Ashley Reese

Actual writer: Ashley Reese

Illustration for article titled We Took the Britney Spears Handwriting Challenge, Which We Just Invented

Lisa says: This handwriting starts off strong but then peters out toward the end. Just like Britney’s nemesis, Christina Aguilera’s career.

Lisa’s guess: Shannon Melero-Urena

Actual writer: Rich Juzwiak

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Lisa says: This perfect script puts my own and all the other handwriting in this post to shame. Thank god for computers.

Lisa’s guess: Clover Hope

Actual writer: Emily Alford

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Lisa says: Someone tell Britney because she needs to know, why do these tens (?) come at night?

Lisa’s guess: Megan Reynolds

Actual writer: Megan Reynolds

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Lisa says: Of course the “B” outshines all the other letters. B for Britney.

Lisa’s guess: Kelly Faircloth

Actual writer: Clover Hope

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Lisa says: This one also has the energy of a 2000s teen writing in her journal about how her parents won’t buy her tickets to the Britney concert.

Lisa’s guess: Maria Sherman

Actual writer: Kelly Faircloth

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Lisa says: Confident and self-assured, but not trying too hard.

Lisa’s guess: Alexis Sobel Fitts

Actual writer: Maria Sherman

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Lisa says: This handwriting is very tall, almost aspirational.

Lisa’s guess: Joan Summers

Actual writer: Joan Summers

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Lisa says: Nothing saysI still write things by hand all the time” like a good old-fashioned pencil.

Lisa’s guess: Rich Juzwiak

Actual writer: Alexis Sobel Fitts

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Lisa says: Is this Lucky’s handwriting? Bold, yet casual and flowing. The letters stand out in a crowd but their long tails are reaching toward something more fulfilling...

Lisa’s guess: Esther Wang

Actual writer: Esther Wang

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Lisa says: Bold pen choice. Are they tears of blood?

Lisa’s guess: Emily Alford

Actual writer: Shannon Melero

After confirming that Lisa had never read anyone’s handwriting—too many correct guesses, which maybe says a lot about the correlation between personality and penmanship—she was asked to rate Best and Worst handwriting via lyric. The winner for best handwriting is “If there’s nothing missing in my life,” and the winner for worst goes to “She’s so lucky, but why does she cry.” Congratulations to all!

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DISCUSSION

pedal-force
pedal-force

At least none of you write like my dad. All uppercase, but not necessarily big. I don’t remember if the first letter is bigger.

It's relatively legible though, unlike mine.