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The phenomenon of encouraging human beingsĀ to injure themselves in order to wear shoes meant to protect feet from injury is an odd one. From Cinderellaā€™s sisters hacking off parts of their feet to better jam them into a glass slipper to reports of a foot fracture epidemic at the height (sorry) of the early 2000s stiletto insanity, there has long been a strange narrative that the pain of wearing a dainty high-heeled shoe is somehow ultimately rewarding. Luckily, our tortured feet were liberated from their six-inch towers in 2018, when chunky sneakers and ugly-yet-comfy snockers killed high heels. Let them stay dead. There is no need for foot numbing cream to resuscitate the high heel industry. Ā 

Yet the villainous fashion industry, hell-bent on making sure our feet always hurt in order to ensure weā€™re constantly subconsciously pining for a new pair of shoes, begs to differ. Enter weed-gummy manufacturer Lord Jonesā€™s partnership with footwear designer Tamara Mellon to produce a CBD cream meant to make high heels less painful. Donā€™t let people feel comfortable in shoes, just make their feet numb!Ā Ā 

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And while studies have found that topical application of cannabidiol (CBD) gel does reduce joint swelling and spontaneous pain, we already have a solution for foot pain caused by high heels: fashion sneakers, maybe a nice Oxford or a dressy boot for very formal occasions. Discouraging film festivals, black-tie events, and workplaces from requiring, either implicitly or explicitly, some people to totter around on stilts is really all the balm we need.