Screenshot: Twitter/The Museum of English Rural Life

I have not run screaming from the bilious sinkhole that is Twitter for two reasons: The Museum of English Rural Life and the fact that knowing what people on Twitter are mad about is my main source of income.

But mostly The Museum of English Rural Life, which just a little over a month ago, gifted me with the bouffant chickens, for which I will never not be grateful. And now, they are my gift to you.

Such bouffants! Such chickens! These chickens could take the stage at the Grand Ole Opry in 1975. These chickens could have you beheaded for failure to produce a male heir. These chickens own 51 percent of this damn company. These chickens are my style inspo for 2019.

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So how is everyone’s year going so far?