The Phone Is Too Fucking Big

Illustration for article titled The Phone Is Too Fucking Big
Image: AP

The new crop of (big) iPhones have left some women claiming the design is sexist toward their teeny tiny lady hands, People reports.

The iPhone Xs and the iPhone Xs Max were revealed at Apple’s annual keynote Wednesday, and they boast a 5.8-inch screen and massive 6.5-inch screen, respectively. These are big screens! Really big!

People highlighted some takes from disappointed women:

Zeynep Tufekci, a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, tweeted: “‘Welcome to the big screens’ says Apple and women like me with small hands who need the most secure phone for safety reasons are stuck with something they can’t hold and constantly risk dropping. Company that designs $5 billion headquarters without a childcare center for the win.”

Caroline Criado-Perez, a feminist activist who claims to have suffered from a repetitive strain injury from using an iPhone model with a 5.5-inch screen, told The Independent that the company “consistently fails to remember that women are 50 percent of the population.”

“Apple’s U.K. Head Quarters has a gender pay gap of 24 per cent, and men’s bonuses are 57 per cent higher than women’s. So do I think the boys at the top consider women when making design decisions? No I don’t,” she [Sophie Walker of the U.K.’s Women’s Equality Party] remarked. “Until companies like Apple have women represented equally at senior levels – as in all areas of business, politics and the public sector, women’s needs are an afterthought.” [...] “The boys at Apple are obviously obsessed with size but sometimes performance matters too,” she added.


It is fair to question whether women’s input is taken seriously in the countless rounds of design trials. But my critique of the large screen size comes from a very different place than the aforementioned critics.

You see, I am not a lady with teeny tiny hands. I am a lady with rather large hands. My hands are bigger than my boyfriend’s. I am a large hand owner. And I, too, think the new iPhone X line is too fucking big. Not because they cannot fit in my hand, no. My hand—large, dextrous, pliant—is, perhaps, ideal for this new generation of gigantic phones.

I think the new iPhones are too big because they’re just too fucking big.

Illustration for article titled The Phone Is Too Fucking Big
Image: AP

The iPhone X Max looks like a baby iPad and probably won’t even fit in my pants’ butt pocket, let alone a small purse. I do not need to mindlessly scroll through Twitter or Instagram on a screen that big. The thing is big. It’s big.

The phone is too fucking big.

Thank you.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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Jonathan Quayle Higgins III

I think Apple’s just trying to troll Trump with the extra big phones.