Did You Know Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck Are Still Married?

Illustration for article titled Did You Know Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck Are Still Married?
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Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck might’ve separated in 2015, filing to end their decade-long union, but it turns out they’re still legally married. And their divorce might be dismissed.

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According to court documents obtained by The Blast, LA County Superior Court told Garner and Affleck they should file and enter their final judgment or risk having their divorce request revoked. The document reads, “If you fail to take the appropriate steps in your case, the court may dismiss your case for delay in prosecution,” which, if you’ll allow me to translate the legal speak, means “get it the fuck together.”

For what it’s worth, it’s totally understandable that Garner and Affleck would drag their feet. They’re both busy—Garner with her ripped mom roles and her endless Capital One commercials, Affleck with his middle-age morose man vibe—and they have three kids to raise: daughters Violet (12), Seraphina (9), and son Sam (6).

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If anything, we should champion these insanely rich, good looking people for looking at their lives and saying, “It’s only divorce, what’s another day without signing here?”

Compared to a handful of other ongoing celebrity divorces, Garner and Affleck are smooth sailing. There’s the endlessly nasty Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie drama, which boils down to the questions of whether or not Pitt was providing “meaningful child support” or if Jolie was manipulating media coverage. There’s Matt Lauer and his wife Annette Roque who, understandably, separated after sexual assault allegations lost the TV host his job—he was pissed about losing $50 million and a horse farm to her in the settlement. There’s Frances Bean Cobain, 25-year-old daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, who, allegedly, had to give her late father’s iconic acoustic guitar, the one he played during Nirvana’s 1993 MTV Unplugged performance, to ex-husband Isaiah Silva. Even that might seem minor, but it’s irreplaceable—and makes for a stupid and messy situation.

So, uh, if Ben and Jen get fucked over for their procrastination in the paperwork department and have to stay married, well, it could always be worse.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

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AgreeToAgree

While it hasn’t been nasty, this is still my favorite thing Jennifer Garner has ever said:

(referring to Affleck’s back tattoo)

“You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?”

“I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.