You’re Saying 'Twat' Wrong

If you’re going to be a foreigner in the US, being British is about as easy as it gets, except maybe if you consider Canadians. The prejudice we face is minimal; the most offensive thing someone is likely to say to you is that British food sucks, which it largely does. Otherwise, it’s mostly just a lot of lame jokes: ha ha, did you go to Hogwarts, do you know the Queen, do you guys drink tea like, ALL the time? These are minor annoyances; small things that, in the absence of real problems, appear more significant, but really aren’t.


Having said that: It is suuuuper annoying when Americans pronounce our words wrong. I’m not talking about Edinburgh (it’s Edin-bruh, not Edin-burg) or how you all say Premier League (it’s prem-ee-er, not prum’eer, and no one calls it EPL). I’m talking about the perhaps most important word we have: twat.

A “twat” is a stupid or annoying person, and also means vagina. (Another important tip: “fanny” in the UK means vagina, not ass. Do NOT fuck that one up.) It is just offensive enough to have impact but not so offensive that you can’t say it on TV. It is wonderful.


But Americans generally don’t say it quite right. As Gizmodo Media Group’s resident Brit, I feel it is my duty to help you knock this out of the park. Enjoy.

Video credits:

Producer: Zac Lee Rigg

Graphics: Hope Sincere

Editor: Jacqui Robertson

Splinter politics writer.

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KristenfromMA - A Moon Shaped Fool

But you Brits also say “pasta” with a flat a, and it always sounds ridiculous.