Martin Shkreli Jailed After Placing Bounty on a Strand of Hillary Clinton's Hair

Photo: Getty
Photo: Getty

Martin Shkreli is a huge idiot and now he’s in jail for it. (Also, there were a bunch of other things he did that landed him there, but all, I think, generally stemming from the same core issue.)

The former pharmaceutical executive, whose countenance at all times suggests little contact with reality or sunlight, was free on a $5 million bail while awaiting sentencing on a fraud conviction, when he published a couple of Facebook posts offering $5,000 to anyone who could “grab a hair” from Hillary Clinton’s head while she’s on her book tour. Cause that would be so funny, right? So prankish and irresistible. A hair, a single hair! Tee hee.



Well, on Wednesday U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto revoked Shkreli’s bail for threatening Clinton, calling his actions “a solicitation to assault in exchange for money that is not protected by the First Amendment,” the New York Times reports. Shkreli is now in jail. Shortly before the hearing, Shkreli edited the posts and apologized, calling it “humor or satire,” before deleting them altogether, but it was too late in they eyes of the powers that be.

No one was sad about this, in fact everyone is fucking ecstatic:


For context, you may also know Shkreli as the guy who jacked up the price of a lifesaving medication that treats a parasitic infection, Daraprim, by 5,000 percent and harasses women on the Internet, particularly when he finds them attractive and they find him repulsive.

Finally, lest we ever forget:

contributing writer, nights

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I can not believe that my cross stitch is on here.